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How Many Alcoholics Are You Aware of in Your Life?

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I have had 4 meaningful relationships in my life (sounds a lot but over 50 years) and 3 of those were with alcoholics, one abusive and two just soppy.

This meant constant strife, lack of money and never feeling truly happy or settled.

The two men in my worklife I would label as alcoholics but they may just be borderline although one has had a triple bypass and tells his doc he hardly touches alcohol.

I don't know any female alcoholics but of course they exist too, in my line of work with kids in care, many parents of both genders are alcoholics or drug addicts.

I have never understood why/how my partners could drink so much that they then needed two days feeling ill to recover and couldn't even remember the good time they supposedly had getting in that state.

Is it just me or do others wonder at the idiocy of drinking too much?

Lynibis
24 days ago
What do you think of this?
PinkElephant26
PinkElephant2624 days ago

Personally i dont know any alcoholics but i do have 2 family members who are drug addicts. So i have seen that side to addiction first hand. Both family members have been heroin & crack addicts since their late teens (clean & relapsed over the years) and its absolutely destroyed them (and the family). A lot of people assume its down to parenting etc but i can honestly say that in this situation the parents have been completely against drugs and it was a 'normal' family. It could happen to anyone, not just children who have a tough upbringing/parents into drugs etc. I 100% get that its the users choice to do what they do and they know the risks but it is like any addiction - its always going to have a hold on you.

Lynibis - I hope you're in a happy relationship now, i know a previous relationship i was in was horrific (wont go into detail) but it really takes its toll mentally and physically.

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
24 days ago

Yes you are right, parental contribution is not always the case. Even though their dad was alcoholic (had to go into naval rehab centre) neither of my kids drink to excess. Conversely you can have really good parents whose kids turn to drink/drugs etc.

I am not in a relationship, have been alone for well over 10 years and although I sometimes long to share my life there are lots of advantages to being single.

I am a typical housewifely, motherly, abide by the rules sort of person but every man I have ever met has taken advantage of my kindness so I have given up lol.

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PinkElephant26
PinkElephant2624 days ago

Lynibis you shouldnt give up, 'mr right' will be in lockdown 😆 you sound like a lovely kind person and you deserve to be happy!

Back on subject 🤭 - when i was in younger i worked in a few pubs and there was plenty of alcoholics there. They'd literally be queueing outside at opening time (around 10am back then) and they'd spend all day & night there and that was every day. Most of them just had a pint for company and would only interact with the bar staff.

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
24 days ago

PinkElephant26 yes, I have also done time behind the ramp, to fill evenings and weekends and couldn't believe the amount of workmen arriving after work and staying until closing every night. Most were family men too but wag's would join them at weekend. Can't believe so many want to spend every waking hour outside of work in the pub boozing.

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Ann1984
Ann198424 days ago

My dad liked a drink and would say boarderline alcoholic lost driving license twice. Brothers who choose crime and drugs but turned life around once had children. A sister full alcoholic would wet herself and done drugs not even sure still alive. I always hated growing up and couldn’t wait to escape. With a Ill mum with organ failure had to teach myself to do adult stuff at young age.

Alcohol is root of all evil and my other half knows I hate him drinking as I get scared I would go though what I seen as child.

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
24 days ago

Oh Ann, isn't it sad how people can cause their kids so much heartache, how grown adults cannot control themselves and live decent lives. We get one crack of the whip and so many waste their time on earth.

I hope all your ghosts are laid to rest as mine are. Two sons in long, happy marriages, and siblings settled and living normally.

I heard my last ex died recently but all his kids will remember is a happy drunk and certainly no inheritance. He was a kind man though and I harbour no ill will.

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Ann1984
Ann198424 days ago

Lynibis I never spoke to family once I was old enough to escape both parents died. I hate seeing drunks or parents buying alcohol and saying no to kids when asking for a 50p bag of sweets. If you won’t to rot your liver let your kids have a treat. Alcohol is so easily bought and more trouble then drugs if you ask me

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TiaTia
TiaTia23 days ago

I can't get my head around it, my close friend and son's Godmother has spend half her life in and out of rehab for alcohol, for the last 20 years I get about 2 - 3 phone calls a year from her when she's doing well and we have such a positive and upbeat conversation, she adores my son, her Godson. She is a beautiful, intelligent lady, worked as a social worker many years ago and I always send her Birthday Cards, Christmas Cards, leave messages on her mobile, only to find she's been moved on (she lives 3 hours away from me) and lost her phone along the way. it's just so, so sad and such a waste of a beautiful, kind person, it's so not fair.

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Getsome
Getsome23 days ago

Too many. I have family members who are alcoholics and I'm shocked they are still alive too be honest. Alcohol causes so many problems and too many people cant seem to have sensible limits and also we seem to have a strange obsession with going to the pub in the UK.

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cjevans
cjevans22 days ago

My Dad is an alcoholic. He works hard and never day drinks but there wasn't a day in my childhood where I didn't see my Dad with a beer can in hand. Although he works hard and is a loving Dad/Grandad, he is the world biggest arsehole every night as soon as he drinks. I have distanced myself from my Dad as I don't want my children to see him in a state when I know what a good man he can be, but I also don't want them round the arguments, shouting and emotional abuse that I had to go through. Without the drink, I honestly wouldn't be able to fault the man though. I don't see why you wouldn't seperate yourself from drink when even your own family are willing to distance themselves from you.

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
22 days ago

That is so sad and yes it is so hard to understand why alcoholics will put drink before those they are supposed to love. They seem to have no guilt about ruining the lives and happiness of those who have to put up with them, their own selfishness overrides everything else but their next drink, or whatever their addiction may be.

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lynneh
lynneh22 days ago

Every Saint has a past and every sinner has a future.. but there’s nothing to say testament to what you see and feel first hand. But at the same time. We often judge the banana on the outside and don’t give chance for the inside. And that’s all metaphorically speaking. If someone is toxic to you and it’s best left outside that’s your choice and no ones needed for to be given the explanation just as it could look as bad as it is and folk wonder why you give chances. We only have one life and I hope you do your best for you and around you and do not regret your choices. One love. ❤️

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