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Had a de-clutter and moved to a 'house' but things are just the same, a smile a day πŸ™‚

lilyflower
30 days ago
What do you think of this?
lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
30 days ago

Morning TheChimp, Loislane Lynibis MrsCraig Sanitation1234 JoTarpley I'm here with the πŸ™‚ of the day

Two old school friends meet up after 25 years.

Bob says to Dan, "I hear that you were married and have a grown-up son. What does he do?"

Dan replies, "From a young age he had a burning ambition to become a great writer. I asked him to define 'Great' he said, 'I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!' I was very impressed".

Bob asks, "Did he succeed?"

Dan replies, "Sure did. He works for Microsoft, writing Windows’ error messages."

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig30 days ago

Morning, we are getting ready for a messy class over zoom! My husband says I'm setting myself up for a fall as our son will just want to run around and wont sit still! But I'm going to put it on the tv so I'm hoping that will help.

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TheChimp
TheChimp30 days ago

lilyflower Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Image

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Loislane
Loislane30 days ago

TheChimp gonna love Mr bean lol x πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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JoTarpley
JoTarpley29 days ago

That was very good lilyflower , I always laugh out loud at your smiles, you are certainly right, you always need a smile a day! x πŸ˜€

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Sanitation1234
Sanitation123430 days ago

Image lilyflower good luck for this topic πŸ˜ŠπŸ™πŸ»

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Lynibis
Lynibis30 days ago

Hi lilyflower, nice idea to start another. For anyone who doesn't know if you click on the date to the right of each topic title it will take you to the most recent comment, saves a lot of scrolling.

I am useless at jokes, can never remember them or get the punchline right. But please feel free to add my guess who it is topic as it will disappear soon. Maybe some puzzles and riddles?

Really thought I would get on with things today, but already I can see it will be just another wasted day, really need to get my mojo back but when you live alone there is no one to chivvy you up. I have turned laziness into an art form lol!

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Loislane
Loislane30 days ago

Love the new heading hun 😘hey all hope you well I'm not up to much today cleaning what joy lol I lead such a exciting time πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚x

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TheChimp
TheChimp30 days ago

Loislane What is this 'cleaning' that people talk about? πŸ€”

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Loislane
Loislane30 days ago

TheChimp yep thats my life lol x

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
30 days ago

Random fact - today 11th July is Cheer up the Lonely Day πŸ™‚ Image

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TheChimp
TheChimp30 days ago

lilyflower That rabbit looks like he's got the right hump πŸ˜†

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Loislane
Loislane30 days ago

I'm so lonley so yeah thats so me lol x

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
29 days ago
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Loislane
Loislane29 days ago

lilyflower thanks huni so need that just not been feeling so good for days now headache tierd and pmt didn't help lol x

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig30 days ago

If anyone is thinking of doing a zoom class with their toddler, don't! It was a disaster!

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
29 days ago

Oh dear. Has Mr C passed comment?

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig29 days ago

lilyflower he thought that it was absolutely hilarious. He said, " I knew it would go badly, but I didn't expect it to go that badly!"

To be fair, I should have known better. Our son is not one for sitting still, except for food!

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
29 days ago

MrsCraig At least you tried. Better to have tried and failed than never tried at all. I think he should make tea after your stressful Zoom πŸ™‚

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig29 days ago

lilyflower very true! He is currently in the kitchen making Gammon, potatoes, carrots and bread sauce for dinner!

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JoTarpley
JoTarpley29 days ago

MrsCraig Sounds like you have got him well trained πŸ˜‰ I hope you enjoyed it! πŸ˜‹ x

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig29 days ago

JoTarpley πŸ˜‚ he enjoys cooking. It was absolutely delicious x

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tumblespots
tumblespots29 days ago

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was.

When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.

He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.

"Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness.

No one answered.

"Alright, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas!"

Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post.

He saddled up and started to ride out of town.

The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?"

The cowboy turned back and said .........

"I had to walk home."

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Sanitation1234
Sanitation123429 days ago

Hi everyone from today I will be here only morning and evening i hope everyone had a good day and now will be having good night too just wants to say see you all tomorrow. Image

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
29 days ago

Good morning and good evening Sanitation1234 you must have busy days πŸ™‚

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Sanitation1234
Sanitation123429 days ago

lilyflower Hi yes just for a reason I hope you understand just don’t want to b popular too much. take care πŸ™πŸ»πŸ˜Š

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tumblespots
tumblespots29 days ago

A woman walks into a welfare office, trailed by 15 kids.

"Wow," the social worker exclaims, "are they all yours?"

"Yep, they are all mine," the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.

She says, "Sit down, Billy." All the children rush to find seats.

"Well," says the social worker, "then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names."

"Well, to keep it simple, the boys are all named Billy and the girls are all named Billie."

In disbelief, the case worker says, "Are you serious? They're all named Billy?"

Their mamma replied, "Well, yes, it makes it easier. When it's time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Billy'!

And when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Billy'! and they all come running. And if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Billy' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, naming them all Billy."

The case worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, "But what if you just want one kid to come, and not the whole bunch?" ....

"Then I call them by their last names..."

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Sanitation1234
Sanitation123429 days ago

Hi everyone I was waiting for lilyflower but they might be busy i hope everyone will be having a good day i will be busy today will come back later just wants to say all of you have lovely day Image

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TheChimp
TheChimp29 days ago

Good morning all 🌞

It's a lovely day here in SW Wales.

Gonna take the woofer for a walk around the park and lake later.

Hope that you're all well.

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JoTarpley
JoTarpley29 days ago

Morning TheChimp , it's a lovely day here today so far, after all the cold and rain of the past few days, although it's so changeable lately, it's nice while it lasts!

Hope you have a really nice walk! x

Image

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
29 days ago

Morning all, bit late, been in conversation with my daughter πŸ™‚ It's nice and sunny in the NE.

A female secretary and a male lawyer are sitting next to each other on a plane. The lawyer asks the woman if she wants to play a game.

"All you have to do is ask a question and if I get it wrong or don't know it I give you Β£5, then I ask you a question and if you get it wrong you pay me Β£5 "

"No," she says, "I just want to sleep."

He keeps asking and she finally gives in when he says if he gets it wrong he will pay her Β£500, but she still only has to pay Β£5.

"What is the distance from the earth to the moon?" he asks. She gives him Β£5

"What goes up the hill with four legs and comes down with five?" she asks.

He pulls out his laptop and searches it, but finds nothing. Then he emails his friends.

After an hour, he still hasn't got an answer, he hands her Β£500

Then he asks her, "So what is the answer?"

She hands him Β£5.

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Sanitation1234
Sanitation123429 days ago

Thanks lilyflower 😊

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JoTarpley
JoTarpley28 days ago

Yes thanks lilyflower , sorry, I meant to say that earlier but had to nip off, I always appreciate your smiles! x

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig28 days ago

We have had our food shop delivered today, my new clothes arrived, we've been for a walk and we watched the formula 1 race. My husband also bought our son a new bubble wand, so he has spent most of the afternoon playing with it!

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JoTarpley
JoTarpley28 days ago

Sounds like you all had a really good day today then MrsCraig ! 😁 x

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig28 days ago

JoTarpley we did indeed. Much less stressful than yesterdays failed zoom class! X

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JoTarpley
JoTarpley28 days ago

MrsCraig Oh dear, that's a shame, and a bit disheartening for you I should think, you'll have to think positive then, it's all experience isn't it!! x

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig28 days ago

JoTarpley I expected it to go badly from the start from it was worse than imagined due to the dog acting up! X

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JoTarpley
JoTarpley28 days ago

MrsCraig Oh nooooo!! I know I'm going to regret asking πŸ€” but what did the dog do??? x

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig28 days ago

JoTarpley the dog decided to eat grass and was then sick live on the zoom video and I was telling her off and another girl on the class has the same name as the dog, so she got upset thinking I was shouting at her! Then my son tried to feed the dog chocolate cereal, which was being used for a task, so I had to stop the dog eating that too!

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JoTarpley
JoTarpley27 days ago

MrsCraig OMG do you mind if I laugh because it sounds so funny, I guess it wasn't for you though but why on earth were you telling the poor dog off for being sick?? x

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig27 days ago

JoTarpley I can laugh about it now, at the time it was all rather stressful. I wasn't telling her off for being sick, I was telling her off for eating grass because she knows it makes her sick! Plus she was barking loudly so I was telling her to be quiet as i couldn't hear the video! X

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JoTarpley
JoTarpley26 days ago

MrsCraig I'm sooo glad you're laughing, when I posted yesterday I'd put laughing emoji's in my comment and thought I'd better take them out before I posted, just in case!! 🀣

Dogs often eat grass because it helps improving their digestion when they feel queasy, (is that how you spell it?) or they have worms or they need fiber so you shouldn't tell them off for doing it but here I am telling you what to do with your dog πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‚ x

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig26 days ago

JoTarpley we told by our vet that she shouldn't be eating grass, hence why I was telling her off, so its interesting to know it's actually alright for her to eat it x

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JoTarpley
JoTarpley26 days ago

MrsCraig That's a very odd thing for a Vet to say, there's loads of stuff on the Internet but I found you one that you might feel happier about reading x

https://www.pets4homes.co.uk/pet-advice/why-do-dogs-eat-grass.html

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig26 days ago

JoTarpley I have maybe heard her wrong and she said should instead of shouldn't, but a very informative read, thanks x

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Sanitation1234
Sanitation123428 days ago

Hi MrsCraig my answer is same as JoTarpley said that’s good you had a good today and little one must be busy with his bubble wand lots of love for little one take care see you all tomorrow 😊

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig28 days ago

He loves bubbles! The nurses use them when he is getting his ultrasounds on his heart as it keeps him calm and distracts him and he gets to take the bubble wand home with him! Hope you have had a good day and that you are fully recovered from your fall πŸ™‚

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Sanitation1234
Sanitation123428 days ago

MrsCraig Thanks so nice of you sorry i went open the door for my husband just came back bit late replying now. I am ok but I do have headache. I hope little man doing good take care God bless you all see you tomorrow πŸ˜ŠπŸ™πŸ»

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Sanitation1234
Sanitation123428 days ago

Image

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