Where Do You Have Christmas Dinner?
Ask a Question
Where do you have your Christmas Dinner?
Do you stay at home or travel to families houses?
My parents moved to Yorkshire at the beginning of this year and it is their turn to have me & my partner round for Christmas Dinner. As we normally alternate between going to each other’s parents, and have been to my partners moms the last 2 years!
I have had a blazing row with my partner as he has said that he isn’t coming to Yorkshire with me as he doesn’t want to go.
So now I have to go to Yorkshire by myself on Christmas Day, even though there has been plenty of times I haven’t wanted to go to his moms, but made the effort for him.
What would you do in that situation also?
Do I have a right to be disappointed or am I just being silly?
Id feel the same but id ask him if theres a reason he doesnt want to go. Perhaps he just wants to relax while hes off work over christmas and if he doesnt know your parents well he may not feel totally relaxed in their home. He may not feel like travelling. My partners family live 250 miles away and he once suggested we go there for xmas but i said id rather stay home because i woukdbt be able to relax over xmas like i can at home. Coukdbt just sit in my pjs with my feet up on the sofa etc. Theyre lovely and i get along great with them but i want to be at home at christmas. If its really important to you maybe a compromise that u have xnas at home and go to your oarents for a day or two afterwards or for new year
Yeah I completely agree it is nice to relax in your own home and I would love to spend a Christmas at home sometime soon. I would have hoped he would have just made the effort for me and he gets on well with my parents so it’s not like that’s a problem either. He’s just being selfish lol x
It varies for us. Some years we stay at home, other years we have gone to my husbands family in Northern Ireland and this year we are going to my parents in Inverness, which is roughly a 4 hour drive but will take longer as we will need to stop at least once to feed and change our son.
I would be disappointed too in this situation. I would ask him why he doesn't want to go. Is it because he doesn't want to travel or because he wouldn't feel comfortable being at your parents? He needs to remember that you have made the effort and gone to his parents and when you are in a relationship you need to compromise and do things to make the other person happy. Does he really want to spend Christmas day on his own whilst you are in Yorkshire?
Wow you have a long journey ahead then! And can imagine even longer when going to Ireland. I hope you have a lovely Christmas at your parents. His reasons are that he would rather stay at home to look after the dogs! Even though they can come with us. He then went on to say he doesn’t care if he’s being selfish he would rather just relax on Christmas Day with no travelling. He gets on well with my mom and dad, they paid a lot of money to take us to Cyprus last year. But yes I argued until I was blue on the face about compromise! I don’t think he is going to budge on this occasion x
AliceBell64468 thank you. We used to leave our house at 5am as we had to drive to the boat and it took us 4 hours to get there and then 2 hours on the boat and then half an hour to mil house. I used to enjoy the travelling, listening to the radio, going round the shop on the boat.
If the dogs can go with you I don't see the problem. Our dog is going to our friends house so we can go to my parents, my mum has a cat and our dog goes for her.
Sorry he isn't going to budge, try not to let it become a big problem between the two of you.
That's pretty selfish considering you've gone to his parents 2 years in a row. How far are you from Yorkshire? Do you have kids?
Yes and he has admitted he is being selfish which is even more frustrating! We are roughly 2 hours from Yorkshire we are in Birmingham, so long but not as long as some people travel! And no we don’t have kids only dogs and cat but we could have taken the dogs with us but he would rather look after them at home. I’m so annoyed with him x
I would be annoyed if I were you. You can't start these things and then just change the 'rules' one year if you fancy it. He should have spoken to you last year. Once I had my children we have stayed at home every year, all are welcome, so it's their choice. My brother and his partner started doing the one year my parents the next yours 18 years ago and it has been a right hassle and they have never been able to spend a Christmas in their own house as it is an expectation now. Hope you get it sorted. Stressful enough this time of year.x
Yes exactly, I always have attended his moms when invited and when I haven’t particularly wanted to go before but I have made the effort for him! Like you say it becomes an expectation and you don’t want to let anyone down! Thank you x
I think you are at least owed a valid explanation. Have you thought about asking your parents to come to you? See how he reacts then. Unusual behaviour make me want to get to the bottom it!!
At the moment my partner smokes in the house so I don’t really want to invite my parents round for dinner. He is quitting in the new year as we will are hoping to start a family next year so perhaps could invite them next year instead! I know what you mean, I don’t think he’s upto anything suspicious but he’s just being plain selfish and lazy in not wanting to travel. He is really stubborn so I know he won’t come, annoying! x
AliceBell64468 well then make the most of spending time with your parent. Believe me once you start having kids they’ll be not room for lazy behaviour lol. he may not admit it but make sure you have fun and hopefully he’ll miss you and regret not coming. Maybe take your dogs along with you x
I stay home and my family come to me I am cooking for 16 this year but I don’t mind as I think Christmas is all about family and getting together I wouldn’t want to see anyone home alone on Christmas Day
Wow you have got a lot of cooking to do! Good luck for all that. Yes you are right it is about family and afford should be made to see them! Have a lovely Christmas Day x
AliceBell64468 Thank you hope you have a wonderful christmas to and all the best for the new year 
x
This year is very different for me as I usually have me partner and son 2 daughters and there 6 kids and partners between them mum and dad also my daughters friend and her 4 kids but this year it me mum dad and 2 grandkids and 1 daughter as my son has agaraphobia and doesn't leave the house but mum and dad are poorly this year so I'm here trying to make Xmas for them
Ah okay so it will be a bit quieter for you without so many children! I hope you have a relaxing time, enjoy x
I am meant to go to my family in France. But with the national french trains strikes it's looking like I'm not gonna manage to go, and will be stuck here with most of my presents. 
I'm stressed out and well sad.
And to answer your question AliceBell64468 you are right to be disappointed but enjoy spending time with your family 
I would say he is being unreasonable. It’s abit of give and take in a relationship and you’ve kept your part of the plans. I would still go and have a great time with your family. It’s his loss
We always eat our Christmas dinner at home. Christmas is such a special day and it flies by so quickly that I can't help but want to enjoy it at home!
We go to my parents every year and then see the inlaws in the evening. We all live in the same area though. If my wife said she wasnt coming with me to my parents then i would go without her but id go before xmas day and stay a few days 
Luckily my wife wants to come with me to my parents every year because i wouldnt alternate.
Join for free to get genuine deals, money saving advice and help from our friendly community
Chief Bargain Hunter
