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  2. Fostering? My Honest Truth

Fostering? My Honest Truth

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I became one 3 years ago and gave up teaching to do it full time. I often meet people who say "it must be easy staying indoors all day" or I get "oh how can you take these children in?"

I would love to say that I stay in all day and don't have lots to do, but I do most days I am running round until late. Like a normal parent, I may take them to see family members this could be every day, every other day, once week, once a fortnight etc. Depends on the children to the contact. Taking them to school, nursery, appointments, on days out, things that they may have never done before, as simple as going to the local park, a birthday party, letting them pick something for dinner or their own clothes or go out to the cinema.

I have children from all different circumstances, a lot of the children need to feel safe, know where they are sleeping, where their next meal is coming from?

Yes, some children have been through a lot and I can spend hours trying to support them and help them, and they don't know or trust me, but letting them know they are not alone an that no matter what the time is or what I am doing I will listen.

Yes it can be challenging and hard work at times, but I wouldn't change my job now. I see children grow, become whole, repair and become their true selves.

ShelleyJayne
a week ago
What do you think of this?
Golfforall
Golfforalla week ago

Challenging (an understatement!) obviously , I could never have even contemplated doing what you have . It must take a unique person/family to take it on .

I can only think it must be so intensely rewarding to know how you have changed lives (lives that otherwise may have been lost to society ). I am humbled to realise I live in the same society as selfless people like yourself - it reignites my faith in human nature .

My hope is that in future years you can enjoy the fruits of your tireless endeavours and have many happy visits and memories ,

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MelissaLee1963
MelissaLee1963a week ago

Every Blessing to you. Noble work.

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beccatavender
beccatavendera week ago

What a great thing to do, you must have a lot of patience and understanding to be able to support children who for no fault of their own, have not had the best start in life.

When you are feeling tired think of the difference you are making to those children's lives. God bless you.

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ShelleyJayne
ShelleyJaynea week ago

beccatavender Thank you x

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HEDGEHOGS
HEDGEHOGSa week ago

This is something that I thought about doing years ago but didn't have enough room in my home to do it, but admire you for doing this job, well done.

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MrsCraig
MrsCraiga week ago

I was fostered before I was adopted. My foster parents were amazing, kept in touch even after I was adopted and they were at my wedding. Foster parents are amazing.

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ShelleyJayne
ShelleyJaynea week ago

MrsCraig That is so lovely, I bet they were so proud of you when you walked own the aisle.

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MrsCraig
MrsCraiga week ago

ShelleyJayne they were, they were also very proud when I got both my degrees, bought my first house and had my son.

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ShelleyJayne
ShelleyJaynea week ago

MrsCraig this is such a lovely thing to hear

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Lynibis
Lynibisa week ago

I work with foster carers and I have to say most are dedicated and caring but in any profession there are bad apples (look at the police and medics).

Yes it is demanding, just as it is raising your own children, but the rewards are not too shabby. I have a very close relative who fosters two children and receives £1800 each fortnight for doing so, tax free. Of course a lot of that is spent on the kids clothing, food etc just as your wages are spent on your own children. She is single and has plenty of free time when they are at school and has been able to renovate her home thanks to fostering.

I hate to say it but I know a few who are in it for the money and in my area they get transport laid on for contacts.

I took a fostering course but then decided against commiting as I am too selfish so I have to say, 'you're a better man than I Gunga Dinn' as the saying goes.

We need more caring foster carers as there is a desperate shortage. Personally I feel it is a great job for older people once their own kids are grown as younger kids can be resentful of cuckoos in the nest, especially if they are disruptive, out of control and many with problems and issues.

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ShelleyJayne
ShelleyJaynea week ago

Lynibis It is a shame you didn't go ahead, but it is understandable it is not for everyone and having your own time is hard. I have children from 0-18 so there is always a child at home, or I take children whom have been kicked out of school, which is a shame for them.

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Lynibis
Lynibisa week ago

ShelleyJayne I was getting on a bit when I applied and realised then that I was tired after a normal day's work without having children all evening and night too, no matter how much I wanted to help them. I do my bit transporting them now and love interacting with them, they are usually lovely kids.

I have thyroid disease and diabetes 2 which makes me very tired so I doubt I would cope very well although they take people up to a ripe old age!

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sylviawatts1963
sylviawatts196313 hours ago

Lynibis as I said family members Foster but don't get anywhere near that amount of money a month let alone a fortnight when I did respite for a week I got 525 and I didn't get expensive for taking them to school and contact like some get ...but I loved every minute it of it .. and are looking into doing it more often

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Lynibis
Lynibis8 hours ago

sylviawatts1963 do you mean an aunt or gran looking after their grandchild, niece/nephew etc? To be honest there is no way I would let my grandkids go into care if it was possible for me to have them, as sometimes social services don't allow it.

Personally I wouldn't see it as something to receive money for, except the child allowance/benefit, but rather a duty.

Social services cost the tax payer an enormous amount of money and budgets can run out by mid year. Our ss department is often running at a loss.

I dread to think how much it costs to keep one child in care, well over 1k per week each when you factor in fostering payment, transport with a driver and escort per trip, court appearances, staff wages etc. Probably why so many kids slip through the net.

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sylviawatts1963
sylviawatts19634 hours ago

Lynibis no she fosters but not for the money as she spends loads on them .no it's not grandkids In care.. its children see fosters but we see them as part of our family

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Lynibis
Lynibis4 hours ago

sylviawatts1963 oh I see, thanks for explaining. Yes, when I did the course it was expected that you treat the kids as family. My sister stays over with hers sometimes or I go to her (130 miles apart) and I accept them as her kids, however the selfish side of me wishes we could have some sister time alone occasionally.

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sylviawatts1963
sylviawatts19633 hours ago

Lynibis yes I understand the bit about sister time occasionally. I think it's normal to feel like this so don't feel guilty thier are three sisters one that fosters and two that don't and we would love time as sisters together maybe a spa day ..but that would mean that she would have to put them in respite which is something that she would never do as you would not put ur own kids in respite. She did it once when they changed the kids holiday time and she couldn't change the holiday and that's how I became a respite carer as she would have cancelled.. so I said look at it as they are not going into respite but coming to thier aunty's for a holiday

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Leannexxx
Leannexxxa week ago

I don't see fostering a job sorry but for people who do it must have a love of helping children and hopefully give them a stable home for some of there live honestly I would love to it myself but as my kids are still young and I don't have the room as it is maybe someday in the future I will able to do it

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sylviawatts1963
sylviawatts19633 hours ago

Leannexxx I agree fostering is a way of life style

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Pjran
Pjrana week ago

It must be very hard when time comes and they move on. My niece fosters a child, her time is for a few years with her. She’s dreading when he goes.

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ShelleyJayne
ShelleyJaynea week ago

Pjran Saying goodbye is always hard, I stay in contact with a few, they message me every so often. I also have updates from other foster carers or parents if they had gone home.

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Pjran
Pjrana week ago

ShelleyJayne oh that’s nice to know. This is my nieces first foster child, he’s been with her a few years now.

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suevernon1968
suevernon1968a week ago

I fostered teenagers - basically cos no one else wanted them when I spoke to social workers etc about fostering. Some people used to say - oh how fab - you get paid and you don’t have to do anything when they are that old ! I have been physically threatened, had all sorts of stuff stolen and broken, driven the streets for 6 hours or more at night looking for them etc. but I am still Mum to them - their kids call me Nan and although it may have caused my wrinkles and grey hair I wouldn’t change a thing ! The only reason I have stopped is because I have incurable cancer - and all my kids - whether I gave birth to them or not are fabulous to me x

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ShelleyJayne
ShelleyJaynea week ago

suevernon1968 I am sorry to hear you had to give up, you have done something so wonderful and supported children when they needed you the most. It is hard work that unless you have met these children. I am glad they had someone as fabulous an caring as you to look after them.

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suevernon1968
suevernon19682 days ago

ShelleyJayne that’s really kind - but I think bringing these kids into my life taught me a lot about life and I became a better person because of them x

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sylviawatts1963
sylviawatts196314 hours ago

suevernon1968 I thought and prays are with you at a time like this I've just had the all clear but has brought on many illness but I'm alive and that's the main thing

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eyeballkerry
eyeballkerryyesterday

It’s a fantastic job your doing but I know someone who fosters but when the child/adult gets to 18 they literally throw them out as they do not get paid anymore.

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ShelleyJayne
ShelleyJayneyesterday

eyeballkerry unfortunately this happens, sometimes, children choose to leave, but often this is not the case

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sylviawatts1963
sylviawatts196314 hours ago

ShelleyJayne hi my sister has two children that have left care one is 23 and the other 19 ... they are still part of our family come around for meals holidays with us ect.. I think they are lucky as they didn't just get my sister and brother inlaw as caers but the rest of our family has taken them in as part of our family we spend holidays 💙 and Christmas ect together as I am family

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sylviawatts1963
sylviawatts196314 hours ago

My sister fosters and its hard work 24/7 ... and the pay isn't good when you break it down to how much for 24hours.. its not a 9 tell 5 job... if the kids are up at 3 in the morning you have to be up ect... I do respite and that's hard work to

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