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PART 2 - General Chit Chat and 'Smile' of the Day :)

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The second round of lockdown

In a few days it will begin

So before you all start to frown

Here’s something to make you grin.

A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant. When their food arrived, the husband said: "Our food has arrived! Let's eat!" His wife reminded him: "Honey, you always say your prayers at home before your dinner!" Her husband replied: "That's at home, my dear. Here the chef knows how to cook..." πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

lilyflower
3 months ago
What do you think of this?
MrsCraig
MrsCraig1 month ago

Dani1 thank you 😊

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Dani1
Dani11 month ago

MrsCraig You're very welcome. I hope you'll be able to see them very soon πŸ’–x

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TheChimp
TheChimp1 month ago

Morning all πŸ™‚

I've got nothing amusing to say today, so here's a pic of Harvey meeting a horse.

Image

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Loislane
Loislane1 month ago

Aww lovely pic x

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
1 month ago

Morning all, why is TheChimp not amused? It's another sunny day in NE πŸ™‚ and here's todays smile, sis has just sent another batch

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.

She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup coffee in front of him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee...

'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room.

The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. Do you remember back then?' he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive.

'Yes, I do' she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.

'Do you remember when your father caught us in my car?'

'Yes, I remember!' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved the gun in my face and said:

'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'

'I remember that too' she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...

"I would have been released today..!!!"

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TheChimp
TheChimp1 month ago

lilyflower Dunno, just got the hump today.

Wanted to make a homemade curry, but forgot to take the chicken out 😠

Gonna have to be tuna pasta bake now 😐

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
1 month ago

TheChimp put the chicken in a bowl of cold water and it'll defrost quite quickly in time for tea.

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Sanitation1234
Sanitation12341 month ago

Thank you very much lilyflower for today’s joke i hope you’re ok today as Thechimp mention he having tuna pasta bake.i just finish my cooking Chicken biryani πŸ˜‹.take care.😊

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig1 month ago

Another excellent one! My husband had a letter saying he is getting tax rebate, so that's a nice wee boost.

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
1 month ago

TheChimp regarding the chicken, when it has defrosted a little cut into chunks to speed up defrosting πŸ™‚

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Lynibis
Lynibis1 month ago

Sanitation1234 chicken tikka biryani is my favourite when I have a takeaway.

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Sanitation1234
Sanitation12341 month ago

Lynibis lovely I cooked full chicken biryani i wish you were my neighbour you never need for takeaway.I will be there for you my next door love my cooking.we do like to eat tikka masala with plain rice or chapati or nan. nice to talk to you after a while take care.😊

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Lynibis
Lynibis1 month ago

Sanitation1234 you too. Yes, I would love to try your food. Often I want to try something different on the menu but worried I will not like it and waste my money. I adore masala as I love coconut flavour.

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Loislane
Loislane1 month ago

Love jokes as always but so need one of my lilyflower hugs one of them days x

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
1 month ago

Loislaneyour wish is my command Image

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Loislane
Loislane1 month ago

lilyflower thanks huni x πŸ’–πŸ’–

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Dani1
Dani11 month ago

Hi everyone 😍 Hope you're having a nice evening and are keeping well. Love that one lilyflower x Image

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Sanitation1234
Sanitation12341 month ago

Hi Dani1 i hope you’re ok and having nice evening too. I was on LD most of the time today mother in law gone her home she looking forward to see her husband I mean father-in-law now I got time for few days that’s why I am here take care.😊

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Dani1
Dani11 month ago

Sanitation1234 Hi, I am having a nice evening and hope you are too x I'm glad you've a bit more free time to relax 😍

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Sanitation1234
Sanitation12341 month ago

Dani1 Hi I hope you having a good day. i was away yesterday.this is my first comment of the day and last aswell till I will back just wants to say goodbye πŸ‘‹stay safe take care I will never forget youπŸ’πŸ’•. I will not tag anyone just wants to say have a lovely day everyone.😊

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Dani1
Dani11 month ago

Sanitation1234 Hi, thanks very much, so lovely x I hope you and your family are well and have a safe journey, take care and see you soon πŸ’–πŸŒΈ

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Sanitation1234
Sanitation123416 days ago

Dani1 Hi I am back bit tired have to stay in for two weeks been advice on airport. I just check notifications that’s why replying i know it’s late but I have to ask how are you and family I hope everyone will be fine.and I hope everyone on LD they all fine too.take care see you soon hereπŸ’πŸŒΊ.

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TheChimp
TheChimp1 month ago

Good day to you all.

This morning is very much like this .....

Image

I will come back with my gag of the day later.

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TheChimp
TheChimp1 month ago

Right then, I've woken up properly now, so here's my gag of the day......

The wife recently bought me a jumper, but it wasn't suitable as it was picking up static electricity.

Fortunately, she kept the receipt, so we exchanged it for a different one, free of charge.

😐

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
1 month ago

Morning all and Loislane, warm, dull and drizzle in NE. TheChimp very subtle joke. How's the 'hump' today. Have a smile πŸ™‚

A heavily bandaged man was sitting up in bed in hospital when his friend came to visit.

'What happened to you?' his friend asked.

'Well, we went to Alton Towers and decided to ride the roller coaster. As we came up to the highest loop, I noticed a sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it, but it was very small and I couldn’t make it out. I was so curious that I decided to go round again, but we went so quickly that I still couldn’t see what the sign said. By now, I was determined to read the sign so I went round a third time. As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a better view.'

'And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?' asked his friend.

'Yes. Remain seated at all times!'

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TheChimp
TheChimp1 month ago

lilyflower A lot better today, thank you.

I'm cooking the wife a lamb shank dinner today.

Wanted to cook a homemade curry this afternoon ready for tomorrow, but I forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer, AGAIN.

I'm not a fan of defrosting meat quickly, so I'll just have to remember to get it out tonight.

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
1 month ago

TheChimp Image You might make Friday = curry night. I don't like defrosting in microwave but not had any trouble doing it in water, (was recommended by a chef). I also dice it before freezing, quicker to defrost. Please you've lost your hump πŸ™‚

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Loislane
Loislane1 month ago

Hey all and the lovely lilyflower hope you well and loving the jokes as always x πŸ˜€

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Dani1
Dani11 month ago

Hi everyone, hope you all have a good day x Love that one lilyflower 😍

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TheChimp
TheChimp1 month ago

Dani1 Mine was better. Didn't you get it?

I'm going to start a joke fight with lilyflower

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
1 month ago
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Sanitation1234
Sanitation12341 month ago

Hi Dani1 yes I am having good day bit lazy. how are you I hope you having lovely day too take care😊Thanks lilyflower and TheChimp for today’s jokes. my bird chukar a partridge wants to say hello to everyone. Image

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Dani1
Dani11 month ago

TheChimp soz your joke was much better than lilyflower 's one πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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Dani1
Dani11 month ago

Love that gif lilyflowerTheChimp won't know what's hit him πŸ˜‚πŸ˜

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Dani1
Dani11 month ago

Hi Sanitation1234 glad you're having a relaxing day and are having a good one 😍🌸

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
1 month ago

Morning Loislane and TheChimp another dull damp day and cool. No joke today but a riddle πŸ™‚

Two fathers and two sons go fishing. Each person catches one fish. Why do they only bring home three fish?

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Loislane
Loislane1 month ago

Morning hun me and riddles lol πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚x

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig1 month ago

Because there are only 3 people. A grandfather, his son (the 2nd father) and his grandson. So 2 fathers and 2 sons.

Dull cold day here today. My son is wearing a lovely handmade cardigan that his great auntie knitted for him.

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Loislane
Loislane1 month ago

MrsCraig see hun your so clever me I'm just thick as two short planks πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚x

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig1 month ago

Loislane not at all! We all have different skills! I'm normally rubbish at riddles too but that one I was able to get x

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Loislane
Loislane1 month ago

MrsCraig well done though hun x

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Dani1
Dani11 month ago

MrsCraig That's so lovely that your son has a handmade cardigan from his auntie to wear😍 Hope everyone has had a good day x

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig1 month ago

Dani1 she knits him loads of them. She must have knitted him 10 since he was born and she has knitted him blankets and hats too and he even has a knitted teddy bear! X

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Dani1
Dani11 month ago

MrsCraig that's so lovely πŸ˜πŸ’–

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig1 month ago

Dani1 he is the first grandchild and first nephew so he is spoilt rotten! Just today he got another parcel from his Granny with new pjs and bedding! X

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Loislane
Loislane1 month ago

MrsCraig his a gorgeous little boy with a lovely mum who's so caring as you always been here for me and I never met you but I'm glad we are friends online on here and twitter x πŸ’–

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig1 month ago

Loislane aww that's so lovely, thank you so much! I'm always here if you need to talk 😊 x

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Loislane
Loislane1 month ago

MrsCraig aww thanks hun that's so nice of you x

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Dani1
Dani11 month ago

MrsCraig Apologies for this proud mum and auntie comment 😊 I'm very lucky, my son's an absolute dream and is 16 (I know I don't look old enough lol ) I'm an auntie to nieces and nephews from 2-17 yrs and am going to be an auntie again in August 😍

Knitted cardigans and blankets are wonderful. I completely understand about your son being spoilt by family and it's lovely that he is the first grandson and nephew. Lovely to be on twitter now, I'm not really sure what to do on there atm lol Your son is beautiful and I'm pleased he is doing so well. So nice to have new bedding and pj's sent over from his granny πŸ’–x

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig1 month ago

Dani1 never apologise for a proud mum and auntie comment! You definitely don't look old enough to have 16 year old! Oh how exciting, not long to wait either!

You will figure twitter out, just muck about with it and if needed ask us for help!

Aww thank you, I'm always amazed at how far he has come since his operations x

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