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Any Adults with Autism/aspergers?

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Just wondering if theres anyone else on here that had autism or aspergers?

Im a 32 year old female and i think i may have it. Ive always had certain ways and struggles and a friend suggested a while ago that im autistic and i told her to f off πŸ™Š ive always seen autism as people with severe learning difficulties and thats not me. I was watching a programme the other night about couples and this one married couple was saying about what they argue over and their difficulties with life and communicating and it reminded me of my wife, then they mentioned that the person that reminded me of myself had aspergers and thats why they acted in a certain way. I was so shocked as they looked completely normal. Anyway ive read up on aspergers (which i think is now called autism spectrum disorder) in women and so much of it relates to me. Ive always known i didnt think the same as other people but i didnt know why, i cant stand people touching me, i dont go anywhere without my wife or mother as they speak for me, if people do speak to me i cant answer them, if i do end up speaking to someone then think im rude (i have no idea why) and theres so much more ive read that just describes my life. Ive been to the doctors so many times because i have headaches, dizziness or outbursts, i told them everything around me gets to much i can hear everything even machine buzzing, people breathing, they footsteps, talking and the lights are too bright etc they disgnosed me with anxiety and depression, menieres disease, vestibular migraines. I dont like socialising but sometimes theres things i have to go to and then il end up having what we thought was a menieres attack and il have to lie in a dark room holding my ears to try to block everything out, rocking back and forth crying until i sleep it off. Reading up on aspergers this sounds like a sensory overload. I feel stupid going to the gp and telling them that ive never seen anything that sounds so much like me incase they think im stupid and just making things up because ive seen it on google. I spoke to my friend and she said she has thought it for years and after my wife and mother have had a look into they think it explains so much about my ways. Has anyone else been diagnosed as an adult?

sorry for the rambling πŸ™ˆ

KirsteyJames
1 year ago
What do you think of this?
RegularComper90
RegularComper901 year ago

No need to apologise for the rambling, as that is what the chat section is for. πŸ˜€

It was quite an interesting read actually. πŸ‘

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Lynibis
Lynibis1 year ago

I think you have probably answered your own question Kirstey. I am not going to pontificate over whether you have something like aspergers/autism as I am not qualified to do so. You accept yourself that some of your behaviour is not what would be considered 'normal' so maybe your wife could attend the gp with you.

You have no difficulty chatting with us on here but I appreciate that is very different. I too do not like being touched by non close family but can hug someone in distress. We all have idiosyncrasies but I guess problems arise when there are too many and they prevent normalcy.

I hope others can throw some light on the subject for you. Look after yourself and carry on reading up on the subject.

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig1 year ago

I have a friend who has it and she wasn't diagnosed until she was an adult. It isn't as easy to diagnose in girls as it is in boys, so it often goes undetected until girls are a little older. Everything you have described sounds like aspergers and sensory overload (I'm a teacher, so I'm trained in how to recognise and deal with it). Do not feel daft going to your gp about it. If you didn't know anything about aspergers before now that it is not silly and if they dismiss you then they aren't doing their job. There are a number of strategies to help with sensory overload, something which the gp should be able to discuss with you. There are also specialists who are trained to help people understand how aspergers and autism affects people and what techniques can be used to help them, (they do training sessions in schools, I've been to a number of them) again your gp should be able to point you in the right direction.

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KirsteyJames
KirsteyJames
Original Poster
1 year ago

Thank you. My wife is going to call for a gp appointment tomorrow. My friend is a teacher aswell and she is the one that mentioned it to me. I have explained all of the symptoms ehen ive spoken to doctors about my problems but never all at the same time and never to the same doctor so maybe thats why they have never pieced it together. I have been diagnosed with numerous things over the years and after reading up on them i always think no thats not me. After reading up in aspergers and watching youtube videos i just cant believe how familiar it all sounds. Looking back at the past i can recall things that ive said or done or how ive felt and it just makes sense. I can talk easily online as i find it easier to say what im thinking or feeling in writing, if i met you in the street it would be a different story 🀣 i dont work because of my anxiety. I did have a job working in a call centre for a phone company and i was excellent at using the system and giving people the facts about their bill or fixing their phone but i was hopeless at small talk and chit chat. I used to wear sunglasses indoors because the lights affected me and my anxiety was so bad i would have to stop the car on the way home to be sick. I lasted nearly 3 years but ended up taking more and more sick leave until i got dismissed πŸ™ˆ

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig1 year ago

KirsteyJames yeah the symptoms explained just one at a time wouldn't immediately make you think of aspergers. And if it was a different doctor each time and they weren't looking into your file in detail then they probably wouldn't have picked up on it. It is quite common for people with aspergers to have anxiety too. Anxiety is a horribly debilitating thing and I think you did amazing at sticking your job for 3 years when you were going through all of that! Definitely take your wife with you to the gp if it would make you feel more comfortable and supported. Maybe you could write it all down for the doctor so that you can hand it over to the doctor if you feel too anxious to talk or your wife could maybe read it to the doctor, that way nothing will be forgotten or left out and you will be able to get the right diagnosis and the help you need.

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KirsteyJames
KirsteyJames
Original Poster
1 year ago

I went to the doctors today and they have referred me to the mental health team for testing. He said they deal with ocd, adhd and autism. Will probably take a few weeks but hopefully I will get some answers. Thanks for your advice πŸ™‚

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig1 year ago

KirsteyJames aww that's brilliant, so glad you are getting help. You're very welcome

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KirsteyJames
KirsteyJames
Original Poster
1 year ago

I had my appointment with the mental health team today. I did a little quiz thing which suggests aspergers traits so im being reffered onto an autism specialist which can take 6 months to 1 year. The woman we saw (my wife was with me) was lovely, we have to go back next week to finish the refferal form. She said although she cant diagnose it as she isnt qualified she thinks that i do have aspergers. Although i havent had an offical diagnosis i do feel relieved. Thanks for the advice everyone πŸ™‚

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig1 year ago

I'm really pleased that you are getting help and I really hope it does help you.

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Caz2
Caz26 months ago

The quiz is outdated-and much the same for children and adults.its a joke.

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lowangleshot
lowangleshot1 year ago

Iβ€˜m 21 and don’t have an official diagnosis although my doctor does agree that I fit the profile and says I am β€œmost likely autistic”, and has written letters saying so to my university. He says it’s harder to get a diagnosis as an adult, as they prioritise children at school for learning resources.

Even without a diagnosis but with just completing the questionnaire and fitting the nhs profile, it can be helpful and relieving just to know yourself that you most likely fit that label. It was for me at least; to have the (as of yet unofficial) label and be able to understand myself better.

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KirsteyJames
KirsteyJames
Original Poster
1 year ago

lowangleshot i felt relieved as soon as i read up on it and realised what ive felt all my life has been normal (for some people anyway). Ive had scans to check for brain tumours because of my outbursts and my headaches and dizzy spells diagnosed as menieres disease. What i know now is just sensory overload and my brain struggling to process. Im just glad i dont have any serious illnesses and we are finally getting to the bottom of things.

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ShellyAnn
ShellyAnn1 year ago

KirsteyJames ah yes, sensory overload. shopping is the worst. If I am on holiday I try to pace myself with time back in the room in the dark because if I don't I know I'll get to the point where I nearly pass out because I am so dizzy and overwhelmed.

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Caz2
Caz26 months ago

Its just as hard to get a childs diagnosis- my son whose nearly 17,and just as clever minded academically as his older sister (speaks fast too like her& uses long words same!) Has similar behaviours- had to wait till nearly 16 for tests.Then they said hes 'borderline' for ASD.So its 'likely' he has ASD.but his gp notes say he has "aspergers"πŸ€”

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ShellyAnn
ShellyAnn1 year ago

I most likely am. I indentify as having aspergers. I'm an old fart middle aged fart now LOL! and to get an official diagnosis, I don't see what that would really gain me. Also, I know a lot of it is to do with development when a child and I've tried asking my mum about this and she can't remember anything. She said I was always in my own little world sitting by myself at school. I did an online test of 200 questions and it said yes, I was. I know the actual test is 500 questions but my mum would be needed plus she doesn't really want me to be. About 3 years ago I broached all of this with her. She wouldn't be involved. I also dyslexic and ambidextrous so my brain is completely wired up different. I am totally fine with this. If I wasn't any of the above, I wouldn't be me.

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Caz2
Caz26 months ago

Thats intersting,as my son is ambidextrous also.

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ShellyAnn
ShellyAnn1 year ago

oh and anxiety and light sensativity - let's just say I am constantly on edge and I wear sunglasses outdoors always and I've had a migraine now for 3 weeks. I actually had to stop work as a secretary due to migraining all the time. And no the NHS were no help with this. since I stopped working in offices, I don't rock back and forth anymore or do any of my other little calming things like banging my leg against the sofa. Needless to say I don't have a big social group and really am not too keen on large groups and crowds. I also have meltdowns which are so embarassing when that happens in public! I am careful where I go, when and with whom. I'm also self suficient and live alone, so I think I manage it rather well. Up on the plus side I have a bigger than average I.Q (not mensa but above none the less), can concentrate on one thing (if I'm into it) for hours at a time and can certainly see the bigger picture when others can not. I consider it a blessing. I have a connection to animals (especially cats and bumble bees!) and plants. I am also a huge reader and very good to have on a quiz team (if you can get me to take part that is). the worse part is the anxiety. It's terrible. I do get fed up with it.

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ShellyAnn
ShellyAnn1 year ago

banging noises, ticking of clocks, sudden loud noises such as dog barks are not good. I am fine however with physical contact such as hugs and handshakes with strangers. I can read body language on people nowadays and understand facial expressions most of the time, but I think that's due to age and learning the hard way. Never used to. I got bullied at school and at work many times. I hate confrontation and don't know how to handle it. people have called me weird, strange, odd, a freak and autistic many times through out my life. I laugh about this now and think it could be worse, I could be neuro-typical LOL! A bit of aspie humour for you all there. Aspies have many gifts. We just don't do with gossip, office politics,conforming and acting anything other than ourselves. I also hate lying and find it terribly hard to do. as a whole, aspies are a loyal, honest bunch, who are very sensitive. Yes, we do feel love and understand it. we just don't always express it. I go mute in groups larger than about 4/5 people. I like one to one contact really and prefer my own company most of the time, but that's not to say I don't think of my friends even if I do see them often.

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ShellyAnn
ShellyAnn1 year ago

Aspergers is not a metal illness. it is neurological. An aspie and a neuro-typical brains are wired different. we have different skill sets. Modern life with all the lights, noise and small talk makes it hard. when it was first suggested to me as a teenager, then in my 20s, I was angry because I didn't understand it, but after much reading, I do now and wouldn't want a 'cure' even if there was one!

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KirsteyJames
KirsteyJames
Original Poster
1 year ago

Thank you for writing all this, although ive read up on symptoms and other stories online its nice to hear someone else talking about it. I hate lying too and i cant keep a secret to save my life. My wife knows she doesnt have surprises on her birthday or xmas because as soon as i buy it i have to tell her. If i notice someone else lying i call them out too. I dont like breaking rules either 🀣 i refused to go in the changing room with my wife yesterday because she had a load of things to try on and there was a note on the door saying β€˜max 4 items’, ive also approached people parking in parent and child with no child, then when they answered me back and people started looking i had a proper outburst. I guess things to me are black or white πŸ™Š

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Caz2
Caz26 months ago

My autistic grandson (now a young adult) is like this.he sees everything same.and is so honest.

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Tasha042
Tasha0421 year ago

I had a friend diagnosed last year with aspergers. The only noticeable symptoms I could see were that she struggled to maintain any friendships because she'd say things that weren't 'socially acceptable'. She also was obsessive with her interests and she'd copy the behaviours/likes/dislikes of whoever she was tying to befriend at the time. Good luck getting your diagnosis, hope it all goes well for you πŸ™‚

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KirsteyJames
KirsteyJames
Original Poster
1 year ago

Ive got to be honest ive fallen out with a lot of people for saying the wrong thing. The friends i have now are really my wifes friends. They think im hilarous because im so blunt (although i have no idea what i say thats blunt or funny and when i ask they dont really give an answer) other people just think im really rude. 🀣

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Tasha042
Tasha0421 year ago

KirsteyJames see I prefer blunt people because I never get hints. And I hate people who talk behind eachothers back, I'd rather be told what people think than hear it through the grape vine πŸ˜† If people don't understand that that's just who you are then it's their ignorance that's the problem, not your bluntness. X

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KirsteyJames
KirsteyJames
Original Poster
1 year ago

Tasha042 my close friends and family know thats just the way i am and dont take any offence if i say anything. At the end of the day im just being truthfull 🀣 although my wife does try to teach what i should and shouldnt say, even if it is true πŸ™Š i do actually listen to the way people speak to each and message each other and i honestly dont know what i do any different πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

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KirsteyJames
KirsteyJames
Original Poster
7 months ago

So i had a phonecall yesterday and after 10 months of waiting ive got an appointment next week πŸ™ˆ i hope its not cancelled because of coronavirus lock down. My anxiety is through the roof πŸ™Š

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sunny101
sunny1017 months ago

I'm glad you came back to the thread - I always wondered if you'd managed to get a referral. I get that you can cope with anonymity here and you're dreading the the appointment. Take some handwritten notes, Kirstey. What you can't communicate can be read and not forgotten because of the anxiety. Fingers crossed that the current circumstances won't affect your appt. (I have a friend who really worried about her crucial IVF appointment)

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KirsteyJames
KirsteyJames
Original Poster
7 months ago

angemski yeah i got referred about 9 months ago just been waiting for the diagnosis appointment. They did say the wait could be up to a year as children diagnosis is a priority - which as a parent i completely agree with. Ive managed 32 years so a year is nothing 🀣 I dont think anyone knows whats going to happen but i hope your friend gets her IVF appointment i can imagine how she is feeling. My wife and I had our daughter using AI. Fingers crossed it all works out for her 🀞🏻. I will come back after my appointment hopefully with some good news πŸ™ˆ im not sure what i want it to be though πŸ™Š

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Lolly1967
Lolly19677 months ago

KirsteyJames please do update once you get through your appt.... this is a very interesting topic to me..... so many adults are on the spectrum but don't reliase this x

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Caz2
Caz26 months ago

KirsteyJames my son waited about 3 years for the tests( thats as a 'child priority'!) And even then only got it as i got school intervention officer to help as he& I were worried my son was becoming depressed over it.

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KirsteyJames
KirsteyJames
Original Poster
6 months ago

So i had my appointment with a psychologist today and was diagnosed with autism. Although people with autism have sensory issues she thinks i have a sensory processing disorder aswell but that would need to be diagnosed by an occupational therapist. To be honest im just happy to accept the autism diagnosis, its just a relief to be able to make sense of my life 🀣

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Caz2
Caz26 months ago

My daughter was diagnosed at 32,shes definately not got learning difficulties,passed scholarship for grammar school,came out with all A*& A* pluses! Talks like a dictionary! Had really good jobs and now went to uni as adult student,doing excellent.( we all just thought that 'cleaning' was her thing,but its O.C.D.theres other things part of her aspergers,but she says she thought that was the 'norm' for everyone as she was growing up.

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