Being Described as off the walls...
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I was recently described as 'off the walls' and 'hyper' by a person who said that was how they felt about me when we first met a few years ago. I felt like it was a bit rude but my partner thought it was a compliment. When I asked my friends, they all seemed to agree with me and thought it wasn't such a nice thing to say. I wonder if they were being bias just because they're my pals and they knew the comment had irritated me. Share your thoughts? Was this a dig or a compliment?
Neither. Just a truthful comment about how you came across to them when you met. It could easily be the same as 'bubbly' which would probably not be taken amiss. A new work colleague once told me that when we met she thought I was strict and scary. However, After i had trained her in the job for two weeks she said I was patient and kind where others had been impatient when teaching her computer based work.
See, it was my partners mum who I've met a few times and have a slight feeling, doesn't really like me. Thats why I felt like it was a dig but she seemed adamant that it was a compliment so god knows.
maiahwillwin if you don't mind a few words that may or may not be wisdom, have been a daughter in law and now I am a mother in law. It is very easy to see something as a dig (whether it is or isnt) because we are animals and still have a thing called instinct which is often right and often ignored. But with this delicate relationship if you act as though it was a dig she will sense your indignation and any negative feelings will be reinforced, then you will both react to a reaction and before you know it the relationship will sour. If however you treat it as a compliment she will be aware of your acceptance and her instinct will tell her her son done good. Sometimes it is a case of love the man, love his family. If you do it with a good heart she will see you as a daughter without the in law, which is how I see mine and love them to bits.
Lynibis nice advice. I think because I don't know her very well, I find things she sometimes says a bit rude and strange. Her daughter keeps saying to me 'my mum is hard to read and difficult to deal with' so it reassures me that I'm not being paranoid. I think its just the way she is. I think I need to try and get to know her or spend some time with her so I can feel more comfortable around her and vice versa. She's coming down to London from Kent on Christmas eve with her new boyfriend so I think I'll invite her to the pub with my friends so I can spend time with her without anyone else around.
maiahwillwin good idea, hope it goes well. Despite my 'advice' I know that sometimes people come into our lives and there just ain't no pleasing them. Let's hope this isn't the case!
Are you energetic or would you discribe yourself as ‘kooky’? Still, its just an opinion. Maybe this person is more toned down than you. I wouldn’t be offended. My partner mother on seeing me all dolled up for a New Years dinner said: “ oh, you are quite pretty, aren’t you.” Complement accepted.
I think they were just giving you an honest opinion of what they thought of you, which should not offend you in the slightest. It is better they told you to your face rather than sniggering behind your back about it.
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