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You may all know from a previous post I am trying to do a no spend jan which TBH needs to be a no spend 2020. I turned down a holiday but it has now become a big family holiday and I have been asked to go- again. I feel bad refusing but I dont think I can justify the colossal cost when I have zero income- I wont claim benefits and am desperately looking for paid work. Would you make an exception? it wont be a repeated holiday for any of us and my niece is heartbroken I am not coming. Any advice appreciated as always.

OneeyedRaven
14 days ago
What do you think of this?
Janhrrs
Janhrrs14 days ago

Oh what a horrible situation to be in. Does your family know why you have said no? If yes, have you had any offers of help but don't want to take them? I probably sound harsh but if your niece is a child don't let that play with your emotions too much, as much as she wants you there I'm still sure that she will enjoy her holiday either way. I guess the big question is how you will feel if you miss it, will you feel pleased with yourself for managing to stick to your plan or will you feel depressed at missing out on something you really wanted to take part in? I hope you find the right answer for you and really hope you find a job.x.

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OneeyedRaven
OneeyedRaven
Original Poster
12 days ago

Janhrrs thank you, family know why I have already said no once and if anything as its months down the line financial situation has worsened. I will feel that I am missing making memories with everyone which is the hardest part. Will think on your advice xx

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Janhrrs
Janhrrs8 days ago

OneeyedRaven I really do feel for you on this and its no fun. I don't want to pry and I'm sure you have good reasons but if there are any benefits you could be entitled to please have a rethink on taking them. I really hope things look up soon, money problems are awful. Xx

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OneeyedRaven
OneeyedRaven
Original Poster
8 days ago
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Faye1
Faye114 days ago

I wouldn’t miss out on a family holiday if it was a one off. You never know what may happen and you may never have that chance again which then you would probably regret more than if you went.

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OneeyedRaven
OneeyedRaven
Original Poster
12 days ago

this is why I am so torn I will feel ive missed something very special - the extended family is coming but I think realistically I will have to say no. Thank you xx

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Johnny
Johnny14 days ago

If you can't afford it, don't go.

You need to already have rainy day money put aside for emergencies before contemplating any kind of 'colossal cost'.

It takes a long time to build up savings, but savings disappear fast when you have little to no income.

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OneeyedRaven
OneeyedRaven
Original Poster
12 days ago

agree Johnny and that fund due to circumstances beyond my control is currently in the red. Its sad but i guess this is what adulting is all about.

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RiannonWood
RiannonWood14 days ago

Thats a hard situation to be in saying no is the right thing do your family know why you said no in the firstplace? I would approach it quite liberally and just tell them what your predicament is, you would love to come but can’t justify the colossal spend amount.

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KirstyW
KirstyW14 days ago

Such a difficult one. Is there any way you can make the holiday cheaper for yourself? I'm in your situation work wise and haven't had a holiday for years and would say no, but when ita family.

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig14 days ago

If I couldn't afford it then I wouldn't go. Explain to your family why you can't go and they should understand.

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Ann1984
Ann198414 days ago

I personally would say no but also if not explained why then do that too family can be funny at times and take offence. You say you won't claim benifits but if you have worked before you have a right to claim you paid taxes before. Don't stress over it there more important things in life then a holiday you need to get up and earn to save for rainy days not for it to be blown on a holiday maybe when settled with income you could organise a family meal or day trip out to seaside whice is a fraction of a holiday

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MumOfThree
MumOfThree14 days ago

Don't spend money you haven't got - it's not worth getting into debt over. However If you have it enjoy it. My father spent his life working hard saving for retirement. 40 years commuting to London and standing on the train to sadly die shortly after retiring so he never got to enjoy retirement or see a penny of the money he saved.

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Glitterandgold
Glitterandgold14 days ago

This happened to both my parents. Both worked hard jobs all their lives & saved hard for retirement with lots of travelling plans they were very much looking forward too. Sadly they both died from cancer just after retiring. (18months apart) While it's important to save it's also worth remembering tomorrow is never promised to us & we must enjoy our time while here.

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ellenmcmurchie
ellenmcmurchie14 days ago

I feel for you darling...I really do...

Even if you got a job now you may not have time to save ...or get the time off ...unless your family holiday is quite away in the distance.

Go give your dog a hoover and feel the love 💕

So many beautiful things we take for granted ...water...freedom...choices.

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Pjran
Pjran14 days ago

I feel your pain but your family should be more understanding of your financial situation. Be gentle with them and tell them how you feel, they should not make you feel guilty but love you for being honest.

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Glitterandgold
Glitterandgold13 days ago

I wouldn't want to miss it. Life is for living!! I'd think of all the priceless memories to be made with the whole fam. I'd look at finances from all angles to see if it's a possibility at all, However sometimes our situations just dont allow it & as sad as it is, it's often not worth furthering any money difficulties. BTW If your entitled to benefits & in need of them, then there should be no shame in doing so. Sometimes in life we need help for a short time ( not always with money either) Never be ashamed to ask for help if its genuinely needed.

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KirsteyJames
KirsteyJames13 days ago

Why wont you claim benefits? If youve worked and paid into the system and you need genuine help whilst looking for work and your entitled then take the help thats available. There are plenty of dishonest people claiming that shouldnt be. The benefits system is there for people who genuinly need it.

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MeestairChrees
MeestairChrees13 days ago

If you can't afford to go, then don't. Don't feel bad for not going - your family should appreciate your decision and situation.

Why not claim benefits though? If you're not working, you're entitled to them. You're looking for a job, no need to feel guilty. Get a bit of money in to help you live.

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MichelleKe42857
MichelleKe4285712 days ago

Why won't you claim benefits? It's there to help and it will help until you get a job, there is no shame in it.

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