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Just Be Nice

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Sometimes we are just having a bit of a crappy day. Unfortunately for my little dude, he’s 2 and he can’t talk so he has tantrums.

The lady in the supermarket wasn’t so happy when He threw his bottle of milk over the floor and a tiny amount splashed on her boots. She was fortunate as the majority splashed across the checkout floor. By the look on her face my simple apology possibly wasn’t good enough. But it’s tough.

So far today my nice clean clothes are covered in snot, chocolate biscuit and probably everything he has eaten has been smeared somewhere around the house. My washing pile is through the roof and I have a closer relationship with my hoover than anyone else in my family.

Today’s rant is just say..... be like the nice lady who stood behind me in the queue. She told me to go home, sit down and have a nice coffee. So I am 😊

LenoirLenoir
21 days ago
What do you think of this?
Dilligaf
Dilligaf21 days ago

Did you see this doing the rounds in the past year?

“I am 2. I am not terrible…I am frustrated. I am nervous, stressed out, overwhelmed, and confused. I need a hug.”

From the diary of a 2-year-old:

Today I woke up and wanted to get dressed by myself but was told “No, we don’t have time, let me do it.”

This made me sad.

I wanted to feed myself for breakfast but was told,

“No, you’re too messy, let me do it for you.”

This made me feel frustrated.

I wanted to walk to the car and get in on my own but was told, “No, we need to get going, we don’t have time. Let me do it.”

This made me cry.

I wanted to get out of the car on my own but was told “No, we don’t have time, let me do it.”

This made me want to run away.

Later I wanted to play with blocks but was told “no, not like that, like this…”

I decided I didn’t want to play with blocks anymore. I wanted to play with a doll that someone else had, so I took it. I was told “No, don’t do that! You have to share.”

I’m not sure what I did, but it made me sad. So I cried. I wanted a hug but was told “No, you’re fine, go play”.

I’m being told it’s time to pick up. I know this because someone keeps saying, “Go pick up your toys.”

I am not sure what to do, I am waiting for someone to show me.

“What are you doing? Why are you just standing there? Pick up your toys, now!”

I was not allowed to dress myself or move my own body to get to where I needed to go, but now I am being asked to pick things up.

I’m not sure what to do. Is someone supposed to show me how to do this? Where do I start? Where do these things go? I am hearing a lot of words but I do not understand what is being asked of me. I am scared and do not move.

I lay down on the floor and cry.

When it was time to eat I wanted to get my own food but was told “no, you’re too little. Let me do it.”

This made me feel small. I tried to eat the food in front of me but I did not put it there and someone keeps saying “Here, try this, eat this…” and putting things in my face.

I didn’t want to eat anymore. This made me want to throw things and cry.

I can’t get down from the table because no one will let me…because I’m too small and I can’t. They keep saying I have to take a bite. This makes me cry more. I’m hungry and frustrated and sad. I’m tired and I need someone to hold me. I do not feel safe or in control. This makes me scared. I cry even more.

I am 2. No one will let me dress myself, no one will let me move my own body where it needs to go, no one will let me attend to my own needs.

However, I am expected to know how to share, “listen”, or “wait a minute”. I am expected to know what to say and how to act or handle my emotions. I am expected to sit still or know that if I throw something it might break….But, I do NOT know these things.

I am not allowed to practice my skills of walking, pushing, pulling, zipping, buttoning, pouring, serving, climbing, running, throwing or doing things that I know I can do. Things that interest me and make me curious, these are the things I am NOT allowed to do.

I am 2. I am not terrible…I am frustrated. I am nervous, stressed out, overwhelmed, and confused. I need a hug.

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angemski
angemski21 days ago

Dilligaf I haven't seen this before but it had me nodding and smiling. LenoirLenoir it's not easy and some days are harder than others with bystanders who can't be placated with an apology. Deep breaths.

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gerrykelly25
gerrykelly2521 days ago

Anyone who has had a child has been in your position LenoirLenoir. People should be more tolerant and understanding. Children are hard work!

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig21 days ago

I have a 14 month old. I al always covered in his food and also have a giant washing pile and am best friends with the washing machine. My wee guy tantrums too. He son decided to throw the crayons in the drs today and to pull a poster off the wall. The hv didn't even bat an eye. She just put the poster back on the wall and picked up the crayons. She even helped me dress him again.

Children are hard work, everyone knows that. We all need to be a bit kinder and lot more tolerant.

From one mum to another, you are doing a great job and I guarantee your wee man thinks you are the best mum in the world. Give him a great big hug and forget about that woman in the supermarket.

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Ann1984
Ann198421 days ago

I just laugh at the people winging and say what never had kids before and walk away most do it for confrontation

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OneeyedRaven
OneeyedRaven20 days ago

Dilligaf thats so good and as a child I clearly remember feeling this way.

LenoirLenoir I dont have children but I am that person who smiles at parents when their child is expressing their frustration in the supermarket or opening doors when you run out of hands...rescuing dropped toys and letting little fingers call for the empty lift. We all need more kind and all you can do as a parent in your best- the hoovering can wait. 💖

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Dilligaf
Dilligaf20 days ago

OneeyedRaven I don't have children either but remember being taught to walk and talk and then being told to sit down and be quiet, very confusing.

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MeestairChrees
MeestairChrees20 days ago

I mean, it is possible that her boots were ruined. I don't know how bad it was. I have some nice and irreplaceable shoes that are very sensitive to any kind of moisture, and I'd be annoyed if they got splashed too. But if they weren't anything special and it was a tiny bit, I'd not be overly fussed. Don't know what her boots were like though!

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LenoirLenoir
LenoirLenoir
Original Poster
19 days ago

If you wear shoes, would you expect to get them dirty? You’re kinda walking on the floor🤔Nothing major, just a splash.

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MeestairChrees
MeestairChrees18 days ago

LenoirLenoir the bottom is going to get a bit dirty sure, but no, the top part won't. I'm not walking in mud in them. A splash on a particular pair I own would be a disaster - I can't wear them in the rain. Who knows how much this woman's boots cost, how sensitive they are to splashes, etc.

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Pjran
Pjran20 days ago

You can only apologise but working in a supermarket she should show compassion and understanding towards you. I’m sure she would have told her colleagues if she was angry but I’m pretty sure one of them would put her in her place. Shame on her!

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Lynibis
Lynibis20 days ago

But she too may have been having a crappy day and it was possibly the last straw. She may be going through a divorce, family member's death etc. It sounds as if the poster herself was not being a little ray of sunshine. Elsewhere on chat I have related an incident where I was standing innocently waiting to take a child home, at contact centre, when a mother stormed past and called me an FC. Yes, the worst words you can think of and I felt like smacking her instead of ignoring it as I did.

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Johnny
Johnny20 days ago

Lynibis Oh dear, that really is horrid. Well done you to ignore it.

I hate it when things like that happen. It gnaws away at me for several days.

Injustice. That's what I remember.

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davidstockport
davidstockport19 days ago

Pjran Perhaps I've missed something but I can see no mention of the woman, whose boots got splashed, being a supermarket employee. It just says "the lady in the supermarket".

Whoever she was surely she had some right to feel "not too pleased" that a child having a tantrum had a bottle of milk to throw.

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Johnny
Johnny20 days ago

Let's play Devils's Advocate....

I'm the lady in the supermarket who just had someone's else's baby splash milk on my new boots that I saved up for for weeks.

I'm having a totally crappy day.

I'm a single Mum and have just left my own baby boy with my neighbour for a few minutes to rush to the supermarket.

So far today my nice clean clothes are covered in snot, chocolate biscuit and probably everything he has eaten has been smeared somewhere around the house. My washing pile is through the roof and I have a closer relationship with my hoover than anyone else in my family.

You should have seen how that baby's mother looked at me. Her voice said "Sorry" as though it was nothing, and her face said 'If you don't like it, tough!'

That's it! I've had it for today.

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Lynibis
Lynibis20 days ago

I was too scared to voice the opinion you just expressed as I always feel people will laugh or denigrate the old fashioned ways even though they worked perfectly well.

I too would have been upset at milk on my new grey suede boots, difference is, I am a peacemaker and wouldn't dream of showing that I was upset.

However when mine were little nothing would have been smeared around the house as food and drink was confined to the high chair and they were cleaned up before being taken out of it. They did not have unsupervised access to anything messy until old enough and mercy me, they both slept through the night from the age of 6 weeks, because I never deviated from their routine. (I know that is not always possible when you have a poorly baby).

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Johnny
Johnny20 days ago

Hi Lynibis

It wasn’t so much an opinion.

I was simply suggesting that it’s also important to try to see things differently, from another person's perspective.

When you do that, you often find that your own perspective was not as valid as you first thought. Or, at the very least, it is not the only valid one.

If you can see things differently, from the other person's perspective, many misunderstandings can be avoided, and you can typically make a much more constructive response to troublesome issues.

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LenoirLenoir
LenoirLenoir
Original Poster
19 days ago

I was nice, i wasn’t rude in the slightest... that’s why the title was be nice.... everyone has bad days. Fortunately today was a good one

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Caz2
Caz218 days ago

When mine were small if they ever played up in supermarket (not often) id just wait patiently for the tantrum to pass by pretending to not notice,and then to anyone passing who stared or tutted or commented id ask "whats wrong,have you never seen a child upset before?" & they'd soon put their head down& shuffle off.

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dholly39
dholly3918 days ago

you know what i have 5 kids. 9,8,5,3,1 and my 5 year old and 3 year old always had the biggest melt downs, the amount of looks and comments i got were unreal and frustrating ! but my mum always said "you are number 1 as you keep the house and kids going, you have to think of your self sometimes. be it mental of physical well being" i still don't really but i my time on this and a brew in hand is my down time. it does get easier 🙂 hang in there

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LenoirLenoir
LenoirLenoir
Original Poster
17 days ago

Thank you xx

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KirstyWhit29673
KirstyWhit2967318 days ago

My now adult son is autistic and was non verbal until around 5. I spent a lot of time trying to explain why he was upset. People used to see a naughty child. Drove me mad. I always try to be kind now to mums with young kids, you never know what it is that’s causing the stress.

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