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In Laws - Good, Bad or Neutral?

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How are your relationships with in laws? I was worried that mine might start telling me how to raise my baby ir get over involved in everything... but they seem ok. They came down for a few days to visit my baby. So far I am not in a rush to send them packing ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

BlueOrchid
1 month ago
What do you think of this?
Glitterandgold
Glitterandgold1 month ago

I love my in laws. I'm especially close to my mother in law. She's a second mum to me. She's a wonderful grandmother & an absolute god send yo us whilst our sons were growing up.

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BlueOrchid
BlueOrchid
Original Poster
1 month ago

Glitterandgold did she ever tried to interfere and tell you how to raise your kids? I hate it when they do that ...every child is different. My own mum sometimes does that๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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Glitterandgold
Glitterandgold30 days ago

BlueOrchid No. I never felt that. She would of course offer her opinions at times but never in a way that it got my back up.

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BusySparrowMum
BusySparrowMum1 month ago

I am very lucky with my in laws. They treat me as one of their own and would do anything for any of us. ๐Ÿฅฐ

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BlueOrchid
BlueOrchid
Original Poster
1 month ago

BusySparrowMum awww that's lovely๐Ÿ˜ I got a son from previous relationship and they dont treat him any different...โคI was very worried about that since I know to some people only "blood is family"...

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heatherduthie
heatherduthie1 month ago

My in laws are the absolute best. I have 2 kids from a previous marriage and since day 1 we have been treated like part of the family. They are now both in their 80s and my daughter now has 2 kids of her own, the eldest is 3 and he calls them granny and granda and they absolute adore them,they are treated the same as all the other grandkids. They never interfere in any of our relationships and we love spending time with them

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig1 month ago

I have a brilliant relationship with my in laws. My mother in law is like a 2nd mum to me. She was brilliant during my very difficult pregnancy, flying over from Northern Ireland to look after me. She was also wonderful when our son was born with his complex heart condition. She stayed with me in the hospital the night he was born, was there for all his big appointments with the surgeons and was there the morning of his surgery. She treats me like her daughter. She was never once tried to tell me how to parent my son. The only comments she ever makes about our parenting are positive. I love when she comes to visit and she is an amazing granny.

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BlueOrchid
BlueOrchid
Original Poster
26 days ago

MrsCraig bless her. It sounds like you got amazing relationship. Its lovely to have someone to support you through rough times. I'm glad your little boy is doing well โค๐Ÿ˜˜

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig25 days ago

BlueOrchid she is fantastic. She is finding lockdown really hard just now, so trying to support her through it but tough as we are so far apart. He is doing fantastic, absolutely thriving x

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Lynibis
Lynibis1 month ago

Judging by your title and first question, it can apply to the opposite of all the comments so far.

I am a mother in law to 2 wonderful daughters in law, one of 24 years and the other of 14. There has been mutual love and respect throughout. I have never interfered with their relationships or child rearing (unless they ask specific advice), and they have never tried to come between my sons and me. They appreciate that their parents are couples who have each other so they never begrudge time spent visiting me. The parents of one daughter in law have even told her to spend mother's day with me rather than them as I am alone but they have each other and two other children. How lovely is that?

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BlueOrchid
BlueOrchid
Original Poster
26 days ago

Lynibis aww it is lovely. โค I got two boys myself and I'm sometimes thinking how will I be as a mother in law?.. I'm very protective of them.. also what if they will choose someone unsuitable as a parent....my brothers ex wife in few years they been together made his life misery ..

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Lynibis
Lynibis26 days ago

BlueOrchid yes at the end of the day it depends on choice. There is a saying 'a daughter's a daughter for all of your life, a son's a son til he finds a wife'. I was lucky to gain 2 daughters and I am sure you will too.

My only advice would be to welcome them as daughters from the first moment you meet. ๐Ÿค—

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BlueOrchid
BlueOrchid
Original Poster
25 days ago

Lynibis even if they are clearly are terrible choice?...๐Ÿ˜‚ there were warning signs about my brothers ex..but he was in love...he didn't want to hear any of it...my 7 year old sometimes tells me that he wants me to live somewhere close by or in the same house.๐Ÿ˜ we will see if he wont change his mind in 10+ years๐Ÿ˜‚

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Lynibis
Lynibis25 days ago

BlueOrchid I can only say from my own experience. You cannot tell at first meeting whether suitable or not as you have to account for nerves and the strain of trying to give a good impression, on both sides. But even if you begin to have doubts the worse thing you can do is disapprove and tell them how wrong their choice is. When you are in love you cannot see the other's faults and will instantly defend them against anyone who criticises. Reverse psychology is needed lol.

My younger son was with a much older woman when he was very young and I really couldn't stand her, I felt she had trapped my son into being the breadwinner for her and her brood of 3. I said nothing, invited her to all family occasions and when they argued did not get involved. He soon saw the light when he felt free to make his own decision without any pressure from me.

Sometimes there is absolutely nothing you can do when a loved one makes a bad choice, but they are more likely to walk away if their family is supportive and doesn't keep saying they have made the wrong choice.

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BlueOrchid
BlueOrchid
Original Poster
25 days ago

Lynibis thank you๐Ÿ˜˜it is truly invaluable advice. And it can be applied to their various decisions... I do worry about stuff all the time but becoming a mother it made it worse..added media coverage of all the kids and teens to whom something bad happened and makes me want to wrap them in cotton wool and tie to a chair for the next 20+ years๐Ÿ˜‚

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Imnotcheap
Imnotcheap30 days ago

I cant possibly say my fella is on this site although don't think he looks in chat ๐Ÿคฃ

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BlueOrchid
BlueOrchid
Original Poster
26 days ago

Imnotcheap my inlaws apparently ordered something for us after their visit...but didn't say what it is ..I'm hoping it's some present and not cleaning stuff or whatever ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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Imnotcheap
Imnotcheap25 days ago

Fingers crossed it's nice ๐Ÿคฃ@BlueOrchid

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BlueOrchid
BlueOrchid
Original Poster
25 days ago

Imnotcheap it better be because I cooked them three course dinner and all๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜... I think their first stay went well but I dont get the secrecy...I dont like surprises๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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Imnotcheap
Imnotcheap25 days ago

As long as it's not a cooking book you should be ok ๐Ÿคฃ@BlueOrchid

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BlueOrchid
BlueOrchid
Original Poster
25 days ago

Imnotcheap I'm a good cook๐Ÿ˜just bought a new cookbook last week actually ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚and...it was a teddy bear for my baby...๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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BlueOrchid
BlueOrchid
Original Poster
24 days ago

Imnotcheap I bought new cookbook myself๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚I'm a decent cook so I'm told๐Ÿ˜‚it was a teddy bear for my baby with his name...๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚so not exactly for "us"๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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SarahBenne67061
SarahBenne6706125 days ago

I love my in laws, Iโ€™m lucky that they live relatively close and they want to be involved in our babyโ€™s life, I do worry that they will have different ideas on raising him when heโ€™s older, but hopefully they will respect our wishes!

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Lynibis
Lynibis25 days ago

I think advice should be listened to, accepted with a smile, but discarded if after thought it does not suit you. Remember we all learn from experience and us olduns brought you younguns up so you may be pleasantly surprised at how helpful experience can be.

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BlueOrchid
BlueOrchid
Original Poster
24 days ago

Lynibis some lessons can only be learnt by your own experience. But wherever possible I like to learn from others instead. ๐Ÿ˜

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G0501
G050124 days ago

I get along with my mother in law, but am glad she lives 2h away! I do feel bad we've not see her since February as she lives alone, but we call a lot more now than we used to so that's good.

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