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Marriage Not Lasting Linked to Social Media Use?

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Has social media change this perspective: my grand parents were happily married 60 years even though my grandad didn’t speak English only Italian and my grandmother vice versa. Even though they never understood each other they were very happy.

These days marriage never last like this. I think social media has a lot to do with this. What’s your views?

djpatchy666
1 month ago
What do you think of this?
Moonstone22
Moonstone221 month ago

I think there are more availabilities to go behind people's backs now due to social media. And opportunities to be unfaithful that there weren't before. It is very difficult to form a relationship nowadays when there is so much temptation on the phone and you never know what the person you're with is getting up to when you're not around

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TheChimp
TheChimp1 month ago

I like the story about your grandparents.

Me and my OH speak the same language, but I don't understand what she's saying most of the time 😉

I think that she's quite happy just being cooked for.

As for marriage, I'd marry her tomorrow so that she'd definitely get my house and stuff, but she's not fussed even though we've been together for around 15 years. I'm not really bothered, but I do worry that if I die, she won't get anything and it would go to someone else as I do not have a will.

In answer to your question, I think that it all depends on what age you are and how much you are influenced by social media.

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Ceebers
Ceebers
Mentor
1 month ago

Just make a will. It's fairly cheap. That will ensure your money will go where you want it to. If you want it written for free, contract a charity and leave a donation in return. I think mist of the larger charities offer this service. You just need to be careful on the T & Cs.

Xx

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Lynibis
Lynibis1 month ago

So you are worried she won't get anything and yet you won't make a will. That doesn't make sense. If she isn't fussed does that mean she has somewhere to go if the worst happens, she is willing to give up everything she now has?

I made my first will in 1986 when I was in my early 30s. Registering deaths all day made me realise how precarious life is.

My current will cost £39 and is lodged with a willmaker who charges £26 per year to have it stored in a fireproof facility and I can make changes any time without further cost. Do a joint will...just do it.

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TheChimp
TheChimp1 month ago

Lynibis Thinking about it and considerating my health at the moment, I should really make a will. I don't want my belongings going to anyone else besides my partner.

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Lynibis
Lynibis1 month ago

TheChimp don't just think about it, do it. If you have difficulty getting it done at the moment because of covid get a will pack from WHS. It is not waterproof or as tight as it might be but at least it would make your wishes known. Make sure every one knows you have done it and your wishes then hopefully no one will be brave enough to contest it. Remember, witnesses cannot benefit from a will.

Failing that, get married!

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Johnny
Johnny1 month ago

TheChimp

No will? Crikey.

I agree with Lynibis - Don't put it off any longer. You'll leave a big mess for your loved ones if you die without one.

The cost of a will pack? £22.99 at WHSmith. If your affairs aren't complicated, it'll be fine for your needs.

https://www.whsmith.co.uk/products/lawpack-last-will-and-testament-kit/9781910143834.html

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You may also find this free pdf guide Practical advice about making

and updating your will useful:

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/information-guides/ageukig31_wills_and_estate_planning_inf.pdf

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Get on with it and make one.

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TheChimp
TheChimp1 month ago

Thank you Johnny

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SarahBenne67061
SarahBenne670611 month ago

I’ve found that marriage serves more as a way for other people (including the government and legal system) to take your relationship seriously, but otherwise it doesn’t do a lot... I do think technology has changed relationships and so has society changing - divorce becoming more socially acceptable and the attitude of “I can just find someone else” which wasn’t typically the attitude of people 60 years ago..

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TheChimp
TheChimp1 month ago

SarahBenne67061 I agree with what you're saying about the legal system.

If I died tomorrow, I don't know whether my house would go to my OH or someone else.

I don't want it to go to someone else ☹️

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G0501
G05011 month ago

TheChimp do you not want to do a will to ensure it goes to your partner?

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TheChimp
TheChimp1 month ago

G0501 It's just getting around to doing it and also the cost.

I would be gutted if the house went to someone else (not that I'd be alive to notice 😉)

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Lynibis
Lynibis1 month ago

TheChimp it would go to probate which is a long drawn out affair that would cause distress and frustration to your partner and relatives. Your home, presuming you own not rent, would probably end up going to your closest relative whether that be child, sibling or even any living parents.

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Lynibis
Lynibis1 month ago

If I am good enough to live with, keep a decent home (still mostly a woman's responsibility), oblige with conjugals and bear his children then I am certainly good enough to marry and make a commitment to! Not just a girlfriend no different to any other dating couple. We have let the men have it all without any vows and call it equality....yeh right!

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig1 month ago

My grandparents were married for nearly 60 years before my Granny died. My parents have been married for 46 years. I've been married for 5 years. When we got married it was for life. Social media doesn't have any impact on our marriage.

I think if you want to be unfaithful then you will find a way no matter what, social media has maybe just made it easier to do so.

Society has changed since our grandparents day, divorce is acceptable now and people tend to think, I will just find someone else rather than working on a relationship.

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Lynibis
Lynibis1 month ago

They never understood each other for 60 years! Surely they would have made the effort to learn each other's language, even if not fluently.

A whole myriad of reasons mean marriage has changed social media being just one as it is access to secret communication which often leads to extra marital affairs.

Back in the day not many women worked to the same extent, especially amongst men, so opportunities for illicit romance were far less. People had more morals than today (practically non existent now) and if you had an affair or left your spouse you were the scum of the earth, today you are likely to get a pat on the back!

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Imnotcheap
Imnotcheap1 month ago

Marriage mustn't mean that much to me I'm not after 20 years and 3 kids. The entire thing of having to invite people you don't know/ haven't seen for 10 years + everyone butting in and adding religion doesn't appeal

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Lynibis
Lynibis1 month ago

2 points. You can have a non religious civil ceremony and you don't need to invite anyone except two witnesses.

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Imnotcheap
Imnotcheap1 month ago

I can see your point but I doubt my family would@Lynibis

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gerrykelly25
gerrykelly251 month ago

I think that many people used to put up with an unhappy marriage historically. That could be for many reasons - the social stigma attached to divorcing, women being financially dependent on their partners and religious belief. More women are now financially independent, or at least have options if they need to leave. The Catholic Church also changed it’s stance, allowing divorce.

I also think many young couples now put them selves under tremendous financial strain when getting married and setting up home, with huge weddings and taking loans to pay for new furniture etc. This can cause huge pressure and lead to arguments.

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Lynibis
Lynibis1 month ago

I agree. I used to abhor the amount of divorces compared to the world in which I was born. But then I began to realise what a wretched life some women (and men) used to live. Being knocked around from Monday to Sunday, loads of kids, no independence, and if you were lucky enough to avoid all that it was still very much be a good little wifey.

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lcook90
lcook901 month ago

i don't think its social media alone. i think people just don't value marriage like they used to. divorce didnt really exist in my nans day and age you stuck it out and worked at it.

nowadays people give up too easy and i think as well changes to women becoming more independent etc, think its a combination of factors and times changing

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Imnotcheap
Imnotcheap1 month ago

I do think some give up to easy but I also think you should not live in misery

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