1. Home
  2. Chat
  3. Mental Health

Mental Health

Other

Just a note to say - try to look beyond words when you read something online. It's often hard to really determine what people truly mean and their feelings behind it. A friend of mine told me recently that some of my sarcasm may be misread on Twitter for instance!

I recently made some new friends online via another platform where we all have a laugh together in the chat area of a streaming website. One of the usual jokers was on watching with us, making inappropriate comments etc and it was all normal. The next day we had a message through from his family to say he took his own life. That would have happened within hours of having conversation with us all online. We had no idea he was feeling that way.

If anybody has ever been genuinely upset by something I've said on here, I'm sorry. At the same time, I've found some of the comments directed at me rather unpleasant and unnecessary when I have simply provided an opinion on a deal. Sometimes it has felt like there is a cool crowd on here who like to run the place. That can isolate people mentally. It works both ways.

It's hard to strike a happy medium between being constructive and treating others well. All I'm saying is if somebody comes on here with a few strong words or opinions, don't immediately think they are a bad person and gang up on them. Maybe behind all of that, they are struggling. On the flip side if you are happy and healthy, think hard about what you say to people online even if they come across as being able to take it.

There are no hard and fast rules on this and I really don't want it to kick off in the comments but learning of that bloke's death got me thinking and I've been meaning to post about it on here for while. I hope everybody is happy and staying well.

Dennab
9 months ago
What do you think of this?
davidstockport
davidstockport9 months ago

". . . and treating others well. All I'm saying is if somebody comes on here with a few strong words or opinions, don't immediately think they are a bad person"

But when they repeat that behaviour again and again with various other members, it is very difficult to ignore them or regard them as NICE people, especially when you mention a chest infection and they say they hope it is the Covid virus. One such person made a beeline for my comments on the day he arrived on LD.

I don't think it is too difficult for people to realise that many who arrive on this forum have been here before using different names. (some use multiple names - and even reply to themselves - there is a noticeable pattern). Fortunately for the outside world they can relieve their frustrations online not caring who they insult or upset. (It's sociopathic behaviour)

I worked for over 20 years trying to help such people and realised some of them are beyond help.

Like
5
Dennab
Dennab
Original Poster
9 months ago

davidstockport "Beyond help".

David, you've just outdone yourself. You may be older than the majority and think you know better but that comment is disgusting on a post where I have mentioned suicide.

I don't know what else to say. I'd be going against my own advice if I typed any more.

Like
davidstockport
davidstockport9 months ago

Dennab Nothing disgusting in my comment - or it wasn't noticed by those who liked my comment (three within minutes) other than by you. Can't you understand that it is those who belittle and insult other members who might cause those they insult to commit suicide. In my opinion (and I'm entitled to an opinion) they should be "your name backwards".

Perhaps it is you who should be contemplating on the fact (as you state) that you were one of the people who might have driven the person to suicide.

I have personally stood up on the side of people who I consider are being insulted, humiliated, harrassed or bullied. You obviously DIDN'T

Think about this: To call another person's opinion "disgusting" could be seen as hypocrisy in view of what you were trying to say. you did go against what you had said.

Yes many sociopaths are BEYOND HELP (not just my opinion) so I stand by what I said.

Like
1
Dennab
Dennab
Original Poster
9 months ago

davidstockport Do you really think 'likes' are important? I get plenty of them on Twitter mate. Come on, you are a grown man David. You're just highlighting my points about the clique on here. This is not a popularity contest regarding who comes up with the most liked comment. It's not about who can come up with the clever response and who's right or wrong. SOMEBODY ******* DIED.

I just opened up about a friend taking their own life and you have actually just said I may have driven them to that which is quite unbelievable and certainly not acceptable. I was ******* balling my eyes out over that bloke dying and you had the nerve to say that. I never said a bad word to them in the short time we knew each other. Nobody said anything bad to them on that platform.

Believe it or not, everybody is just nice to each other on there. We don't have an in crowd going off in their own topics having a private club. Everybody is equal. If somebody says something out of line, they're told like an adult and we all move on. Nobody likes to be told but it's how you do it. I've not seen one unpleasant argument in months despite some heated discussion about various topics. Here's an analogy - that site is like being at the pub. This one often feels like I have gatecrashed a private coffee morning in Royston Vasey.

You are really over analysing things. I think you have a theory that there is one person attacking you from multiple angles with different accounts. I've seen your posts about it time and time again on here. While I question your theories, I truly hope nobody is bullying you because that is of course out of order. All I will say is it takes two to tango and I've seen the arguments you've had and the comments you've made, like the one above about my friend dying for **** sake. How ******* dare you?

Just to confirm, I have one account. It is 'banned' backwards, yes. It started off as a private joke to myself and now I'm stuck with it. I've never met TheChimp in real life but would certainly like to because he's never said a bad word to me. We've had multiple disagreements but it's always ended well because he and I do not take each other seriously. Just to revisit your analysis too; I have a good memory. That bloke who you had trouble with - the one who you reckon was impersonating you after he was banned; he was without a doubt in Scotland. The Chimp I believe is in Wales, South I think. I'm here in the sunny North West of England with you David!

Anyway, back to the bloke you decided to make this about, the above is my personal experience of him. If he's said something that's genuinely offensive and personal to someone, he should apologise. I'm not defending that. At the same time though, it's not your job to go round policing the place mate. Part of my message here is to everybody. If you feel unhappy with the way somebody has spoken to you, report it. The mods are here to deal with the offenders, not you. The minute you get involved, being the hero, it makes you look just as bad in my eyes. As you said, we have our personal opinion and that's how it looks from where I am standing. I've seen it time and time again online.

If you wish to know anything else about me by the way and check if I have multiple Latest Deals accounts, I'll hop on the M56 and we can meet for a socially distanced coffee. We can have a proper conversation & I'm sure it would be fascinating. If not, take care of yourself and if you are truly hurt by people on here, please speak to someone in real life about it. I'd quite happily be that person because life is too ******* short despite what you have said to me above πŸ‘πŸ»

Like
emmabeckz
emmabeckz
LD Team
9 months ago

Hope you are ok Dennab.

Like
1
Dennab
Dennab
Original Poster
9 months ago

emmabeckz I'm absolutely fine and thank you for asking Emma. I hope you're well. That experience woke me up a bit if I'm honest. I just wanted to make my experience heard on here. One good thing to come out of it is some money raised for Mind by a DJ friend of mine and of course the raised awareness.

Like
Moonstone22
Moonstone229 months ago

People's mental health is such a fragile thing. A person could smile and seem so happy on the outside when there is a secret internal battle going on inside. I read something that spoke to me a couple of months back. A therapist said to a suicide patient 'why do you want to die' and she said 'I don't want to die, I want to find a way out of the life I am living now'. The most important thing is for a person to speak out to people if they are having dark thoughts and not hold it inside. Life changes all the time and things do get better in time

Like
1
Dennab
Dennab
Original Poster
9 months ago

Moonstone22 The thing that shocked me most with the bloke I knew was his apparent jollyness with absolutely no signs of being unhappy behind it. A friend of mine told me this week her 17 year old son's school friend had killed himself and it was under the same circumstances. He was the joker and the life of the party. It's hard to figure out what we can do other than try to convince people it is normal to open up about being a bad state. Many of us are lucky enough to only feel like crap for some of our week. Also, it seems to still be men who struggle to open up in my experience. They seem to think it's not the manly thing to do and maybe people will react badly when actually, we just want to help. That's a interesting quote you mentioned from that patient. It makes a lot of sense really but the worst thing is when someone has the feeling they wish to escape from something but the rest of us fail to see what that something is.

Like
Moonstone22
Moonstone229 months ago

Dennab Sometimes people try to portray themselves as happy because they feel that the more ok they seem, the less other people can tell how they really feel. It's like an act they put on from the moment they step out into public and in a way they get so wrapped up in pretending to be happy that they convince themselves they are until they are alone and the sadness crashes down on them.

I agree with you that there is a stigma on men having to seem a certain way and if they express emotions, are judged as weak. It is a stigma that needs to be broken. It is devistating that so many men hide how they feel and suffer in silence.

It is very difficult to spot the signs, mental health effects people in different ways and it is hard to see the pain some people are going through behind closed doors. All anyone can really do is support friends and family if they choose to turn to you and try to be there for them as much as we all can

Like
2
Dennab
Dennab
Original Poster
9 months ago

Moonstone22 If one person feeling that way sees this topic and thinks twice because of it, great. That's all I want really and the primary reason I posted on here for the first time in a while. Stay safe and well πŸ‘‹πŸ»

Like
1
Moonstone22
Moonstone229 months ago

Dennab It was thoughtful of you to post this topic to help people. And thank you, stay safe and well

Like
1
Dennab
Dennab
Original Poster
9 months ago

Moonstone22 Thank you.

Like
1
davidstockport
davidstockport9 months ago

Dennab This wasn't the first time you posted on here for the first time in a while. you were posting long before this topic. Much earlier you were telling me not to tab people in my comments. THINK AGAIN.

I can't find that thread - perhaps it has been removed, if so it won't be hidden from anyone on the team who might like to see who's telling the truth. No doubt many members will remember your contributions yesterday too.

Like
Dennab
Dennab
Original Poster
9 months ago

davidstockport First time I posted a topic, first time I posted a topic in a long time David. Apologies for not clarifying. The offer above remains David. I don't have time for petty arguments. I'm trying to get some work done before Monday hits so hope you're still up for an equally important reason.

Do you know what the long and short of it is? I can absorb your highly disrespectful comments above and spit them out in the nearest bin for one reason - you're keeping a topic about mental health awareness right up there at the top my mate so in a backward way, thank you. Keep it up. πŸ‘πŸ»

Like
davidstockport
davidstockport9 months ago

Dennab You seem to have changed your tune since you arrived on the 10th March.(four days after your friend) You appeared, without provocation, to single me (and a female member) out immediately for special attention. I have little time for petty arguments either, I've even less time for people who pretend butter wouldn't melt in their mouth, and have for friends people who say they hope that a member with a chest infection has contacted Covid19 - If I want such friends I will visit the snake pit at my nearest zoo.

You consider my remarks disrespectful - anyone with a memory will be saying "pot - kettle - black".

I suggest you check your friend's deals and see how he replied to another member who asked a perfectly reasonable question (oh I realise you probably did which is why you objected to me linking to it with a tab to Tom).

Like
Dennab
Dennab
Original Poster
9 months ago

davidstockport Yes, I have possibly changed my tune. Sorry if I upset you but honestly, I have no idea what I said. Have you just backtracked through to March?! I'm guessing the female member is Lynbilis or Eyeballkerry or one of your crew. I certainly get on fine with Lyn so if it's her, she's moved on, as have I sir. There you go with your conspiracy theory again Columbo although that is quite the coincidence being four days admittedly!

Just to remind you Mr Stockport, my friend died. I've pointed that out several times & you're still having a go at me despite my aim here being to highlight mental health issues. Please show some respect.

Regarding that other topic, will you please stop making out that I would stick up for my 'mate' no matter what? I looked at what he said and yes, his reaction was disproportionate and possibly a bit harsh. It's a touchy subject though. People are acting like twats across the country. Maybe you're one of them but I don't think so because you have been shielding I believe. Was he harsh or was the person responding hypersensitive? Does he have health conditions that make him especially vulnerable and therefore a little more sensitive when somebody suggests a let's be honest, silly idea? We don't really know, do we David? Do we know who is having mental health problems and who isn't, purely from text written on a website David? Is this the real world where we can see people's moods and hear their tone of voice David? No and no. Do you know what else I noticed though? Your responses.

You clearly enjoy a good fight on here Mr. I'm not taking the bate when I wake up. This topic will probably be locked by then anyway because of your yes, disgusting attitude. I wanted this to be about mental health based on a ******* friend dying and quite frankly, you should know better if you have been "helping" people for 20 years.

Like
TheChimp
TheChimp9 months ago

Morning Dennab

I really don't know why you are engaging with davidstockport to be honest.

He's obviously a sad little old man who is so lonely that he has to rile people up to get his kicks.

Like
1
emmabeckz
emmabeckz
LD Team
9 months ago

Hey guys, not the time or the place for this. Dennab, I really hope you are ok. I am turning comments off on this now as it's not constructive or helpful. Thank you

Like
1
Commenting closed
One of the UK's largest deal hunting communities

Join for free to get genuine deals, money saving advice and help from our friendly community

Kelsey, Tom
& Deepak
Founders
Founders of Latest Deals
We use cookies (e.g. personalisation, analytics, social media). Find out more.