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I had my baby nearly a month ago.. and I know that some postpartum blues are normal. Lack of sleep, hormones etc... but how will I know if I need help with it? My hubby is due back at work tomorrow...I'm dreading it. To stay in the house just me and the baby and my older son when I collect him from school... I don't like to feel lonely. And obviously all worries about Corona.. money. Job...childcare...sometimes I feel overwhelmed...i look in the mirror and my bulging tummy brings me to tears...the other day I looked at my baby and he changed quite a lot since birth and for that brief moment I didn't recognize him and burst into tears .. I been home since March homeschooling my older son and hasnt been at work since. I feel lonely and isolated...😭

BlueOrchid
24 days ago
What do you think of this?
TheChimp
TheChimp24 days ago

Oh dear ☹️

I'm so sad to hear that you're feeling down.

I'd love to give you some advice, but as you probably know, I'm a bloke and have no experience in having babies.

I'm sure that there's some nice kind folk on LD that can help a bit.

It's easy for people to say 'chin up', but they don't know what you're going through.

I hope that you feel better soon.

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BlueOrchid
BlueOrchid
Original Poster
23 days ago

TheChimp thank you. You do make me smile though😂 I would love to see men being pregnant and having babies 😂😂...I'm just not an autumn person. Them dark miserable cold rainy days doesnt help... reminds me of my childhood when on such days TV would cut off at 6pm I think and there would be not much else to do. And the shows etc that were on were bloody depressing anyway. Exactly... in theory I know what I should do...read some of my books I love or do some crafts etc.but the problem is I really dont feel like doing anything...

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hrdaniels1980
hrdaniels198023 days ago

I had a baby 18 months ago and suffered severe postnatal depression with severe anxiety attacks at night. Seek help now hun please at least then you’ve got the ball rolling just incase you start to feel worse!

It does get better I promise!

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BlueOrchid
BlueOrchid
Original Poster
23 days ago

hrdaniels1980 I will always look after my baby and my son. My baby seems thriving. I do all the other daily stuff like washing, dishes etc... it just feels like I got little cloud of doom hanging over my head.. there's nothing to be excited about. Nothing to wait for... I dont watch or read news because it's too depressing. It's either people getting hurt or bloody Corona atm...if anyone else needs help I would gladly help them in any way I can. But I find it hard to ask for help for me. I always think that someone else needs it more...

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emmabeckz
emmabeckz
LD Team
23 days ago

Hey I’m sorry you are feeling like this. Are you still under the midwife or have you transferred to the health visitor now? I know a lot has changed with coronavirus but probably worth mentioning to them how you are feeling? Although you can’t really do much friends and group wise, could you meet up with a friend or family member and get wrapped up for a walk with the pram? Sometimes being inside gets to me so it’s nice to get out and come back and makes me feel a bit better. Hope you are ok

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BlueOrchid
BlueOrchid
Original Poster
23 days ago

emmabeckz I got my health visitor check up in 2 weeks. That's the thing... my family is in my country. And my friends some working, some self isolating etc. I tried to arrange to see them and only managed to meet up twice. My in laws came to see the baby for few days recently. That was nice. We went out to dinner and to bowling place first time since March...it felt like some sort of normality...probably you're right. I might go to the park or at least to the shop before I pick up my son from school today.

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emmabeckz
emmabeckz
LD Team
23 days ago

BlueOrchid When I was at home alone I would make a point of trying to go out once a day - I would alternate between supermarkets and just get a trolley and push the baby round and browse and end up with milk or some yellow stickers for dinner! Sometimes you have to push yourself to go out but after going out for a little while, it feels nice to come home. Can you do a few Skype, Zoom of Facetime calls have a coffee morning with your friends maybe? Get dressed and put your make up on - I work from home and I have a full face of make up everyday even though no one sees me but makes me feel better.

Definitely mention to your health visitor how you are feeling and maybe weekends when your husband is not working you can arrange to go out bowling or to dinner - something to look forward too? Also, why not maybe join an online local Facebook group for mums so you can see what's going on in your local area - might be stuff you don't even know about.

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gerrykelly25
gerrykelly2523 days ago

I am so sorry you are feeling low BlueOrchid. Does your partner know how you are feeling?

You need to let your health visitor know that you are feeling like this.

As emmabeckz says, try to get out of the house for a change of scenery. I know getting ready and facing out can seem daunting when you are depressed, but it will make you feel better. Are there any local cafes where you can sit outside and have a coffee?

Your baby tummy is a badge of honour - you have just brought a new person in to this world! Be proud of yourself!

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig23 days ago

You need to speak to your health visitor or a dr. After I had my son the drs and health visitors kept a close eye on me to make sure I didn't have post partum depression due to what was going on with my son. I had all the same worries as you, but with major health concerns to deal with. The extra support really helped me.

You need to tell your husband how you feel too so that he can help. It is tough because others don't understand what you are going through.

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Imnotcheap
Imnotcheap23 days ago

I was lucky and simply felt happy and tired when I had my kids but there was no Corona if I needed more help I could ring my mum to come and help

Maybe you could find local online mothers and babies group

Good luck

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BlueOrchid
BlueOrchid
Original Poster
23 days ago

Imnotcheap that's the thing I think it would be high risk really...I'll try the peanut app to see if there are any mums near me who would like to meet up maybe for a walk in the park or something...also its possible that we will have another lockdown in few weeks for half term...😭just feel a bit fed up really...they were saying that vaccine will be found by the end of year...now only next year...it just doesn't seem like it will ever go away...I do wear a mask even it gives me anxiety and makes me feel claustrophobic...but hey ho I suppose its "new normal" for however long it takes...😭

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Imnotcheap
Imnotcheap23 days ago

You can get little mask extensions so they a bit further from face if that helps

Good luck and stay safe🤗

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GSM
GSM23 days ago

Sorry you are feeling like this but all will pass and you will feel better. I was in the same situation a year ago and now I feel great 💪

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tracisinclair01
tracisinclair0123 days ago

Like all have said. It maybe worth talking to your health visitor. I was like this after my son. I was lucky my health visitor got in touch with a community group that assigned a friend I suppose to help support where I felt I needed it, whether it was someone to shop with, or go for a walk or even help make the tea. ( I know due to covid a community help thing may not be possible, but there are people out to help) My son's 3 now. I still have days where I cry and can't cope, but I try to talk it through with my hubby or my friend I made bthrough the community group. My son is a handful, but I feel lonely and sad when I'm on own. Eg older kids at school, he at nursery and hubby at work. Things are harder at moment due to covid, but don't be afraid to reach out. Many mum's have felt the way you do right now. Help us out there, but try make time for yourself, even just enjoying a cuppa in peace with a book, while baby sleeps. Hope you feel yourself soon. Take care. ***

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Pjran
Pjran23 days ago

It’s best to talk about your feelings rather than bottle it all up. Chat to the other mums when you do the school run. Hopefully one will be supportive and kind If not the health visitor should be able to help. Remember you’re not alone you’ve got a wonderful husband.

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