1. Chat

Are You a Romantic?

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Unashamedly I am, but as I travelled life's road I have to admit it never lived up to my expectations.

I have always been an avid reader, pre teens reading Dickens, Georgette Heyer so i guess my brain became wired to real life being similar. Films further encouraged this outlook.

Sadly, my husband was an abuser, far from the knight in shining armour I envisaged. When i finally dipped my toe in the water again I ended up with a kindly, good natured alcoholic.

Given my time again i would still hope to meet that special man who would be provider, protector and loving example of husband and father and I would be a traditional loving housewife giving and receiving until death do us part surrounded by our family.

Nah, it never works out that way does it??? 🤔😂🤗😥😒

Lynibis
2 months ago
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jms19

It’s a shame that you feel your life has been somewhat unfulfilling up until this point but I’m sure you have many good years left ahead of you.

I would say I’m somewhat romantic, but in my own way. I don’t often do grand gestures, i prefer to do loads of little things.

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Lynibis

jms19 I don't feel unfulfilled with my life per se, as I have 2 wonderful sons who are the type of husbands I take great pride in. Two wonderful DILs and 3 gorgeous grandchildren who have never brought us trouble. It would just have been nice to have known the love of a good man to share it all with. A man not a yes man mouse!!!

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MelissaLee1

I don't like men who shower you with gestures and flowers and then sneak off with yer mother or your mates before the bed is even made. Nor am I star struck by handsome guys who think that they are God's gift to humankind. Romance for me is being with an unaffected ,industrious ,kind, supportive man who has a good sense of humour and a committed and dependable manner. Someone who loves me warts n all and I him.My husband died three years ago and it would take a very special someone to replace him.

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Lynibis

MelissaLee1 agree with your description wholeheartedly. My 'knight in shining armour' was merely a phrase many people are familiar with but absolutely unrealistic. I suppose what I would have liked would be a guy who was protective but never looked for trouble, loving in actions rather than gooey words or showering gifts, a good father who taught sons how to be manly without disliking women and taught daughters how to identify a good man, by example.

I could go on and on but you get my drift. Young women would throw up their hands in horror but of course this is a difference in generations and how differently we were raised.

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MelissaLee1
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Lynibis

MelissaLee1 that brightened my day.... I laughed out loud when that popped up... Thanks!

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Leannexxx

No I'm not romantic at all it makes me cringe all that stuff

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Lynibis

Leannexxx probably our idea of romantic differs quite a lot as I don't set much store by grand gestures and have never been materialistic expecting expensive gifts. Just a strong, manly man who has always got my back and shows his devotion in the way he looks after and leads his family, someone to look up to. But women today seem to want to be men and that's not for me lol.

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Leannexxx

Lynibis oh I've got that my man will always have my back and to him nothing else matters but are family I thought you meant cheesy candle lit dinner and flowers

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Lynibis

Leannexxx No, just someone you can look up to basically. Maybe catch a glimpse of them digging the garden or tinkering with the car and you stay still and watch for a while realising how lucky you are. I know this must sound weird coming from a woman of my age but as any old in body person will tell you, you still feel 30 in your head and the realisation that you've missed the boat................

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Leannexxx

Lynibis I understand what your saying I've always said I'm very lucky to have my family and I will always see it as blessing

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MrsCraig

I think it depends on your idea of what romance is. For me romance is my husband cooking dinner or helping clean the house or being supportive. My husband loves me for who I am and I love him unconditionally. We have never gone in for flowers or fancy dinners, smaller gestures are romantic to us.

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Lynibis

MrsCraig yes, I have said same more or less in my replies to above comments, so I agree.

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Paulyousef28

Think everyones a romantic.

I certainly am.

But sadly been on my own forever.

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Lynibis

Paulyousef28 I know how you feel🤗

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hillmary615

I always hoped someone would treat me right. Unfortunately I have had no romance from both my husband's. My first was a gambler and he didn't think our children needed food,clothes,shoes etc. I worked my fingers to the bone just so that I could get food etc for my children. They are now adults who work hard and don't live with a gambler. I am so proud of them and what they have achieved. My second husband was abusive to me and left me penniless.I found out he was seeing his ex and texting her. He cleaned out our bank account and left me with thousands of pounds of debt,which I am still sorting out. It impacted on my mental health and well-being.All the time he was mentally abusing me,telling me it's my fault.

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Lynibis

hillmary615 It seems men are not having much input in this topic but I fully understand that they are often the victims of bad romantic attachments.

Your story is so common and I sometimes despair that the evil within men and women continues into the 21st century. I can't help thinking the cycle will never be broken and it is all down to luck of the draw.

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martinlufc5637

No I'm not romantic at all, neither is my wife so we're a perfect match lol I find that stuff blah..

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Lynibis

martinlufc5637 sometimes in chat people only read the topic and reply. But often the following comments give a better understanding of the conversation. It's not really about romance, hearts and flowers and all that but expectations of how each should treat the other. If you and your wife love and respect each other that can be romance in itself.

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