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What to Wear to a Wedding?

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Ive got a wedding in 2 weeks and i dont know what to wear πŸ™ˆ

Im currently in the process of getting a formal diagnosis of asd (aspergers). I hate social events especially when you have to dress up so i normally wouldnt go but my wife is bridesmaid and its really important to her that i go. Clothes are a massive issue to me and i can only wear certain things because of the feel of them, how they fit and because i have obsessions. At the moment i have an obsession with vans and i have 4 pairs of the same shoe (2 are brand new for back ups) 🀣

I mostly wear mens clothes as their baggier, the only thing i can wear fitted is trousers. I will not wear girly clothes so a dress is a definate no, but i wont wear a shirt or suit either.

Because i wear the same style all the time its hard for me to change what i wear and im worried about what other people will think. I mean i cant rock up to a wedding wearing tshirt and jeans. I need something im comfortable in because im going to be stressed enough around people, if im not comfortable then i will have a meltdown and end up being ill. My wife has mentioned a jumpsuit but i think its just a tad too girly.

I have bought smart grey cropped fitted trousers with like a cheque pattern that go with a pair of vans. It looks smart with a plain black vans tshirt but i cant wear a tshirt to a wedding can i. Im legit struggling and im just at the point where i want to cancel but i cant. To make matters worse my wife is spending the night before the wedding away from me because she Is bridesmaid, so even getting ready on the day without her is going to be a massive struggle. I probably sound like a crazy person πŸ™ˆ Can anyone think of something to wear that isnt going to draw attention to me looking different to i usually do so that people arent like β€˜She looks girly’ or ’why is she wearing mens clothes’ 😭😭😭

Sorry for the rambling i usually try to keep these stupid struggles to myself πŸ™ˆ

KirsteyJames
1 year ago
What do you think of this?
Johnny
Johnny1 year ago

Relax, most people will be looking at the bride! Your cropped grey check trousers and vans sound fine to me, and a plain black t-shirt is OK, but a plain shirt with a collar would be a bit smarter. Keep it simple and wear what you feel comfortable in. No-one's going to be particularly bothered what you wear if it's not too loud, and will just be happy you made it.

Chill out. Loads of people who think they look fantastic at weddings, actually don't. It's the same in town - just take a walk down the high street! So you definitely won't be the worst dressed!

And what you've described so far is good in my book.

Enjoy the day.

Johnny😊

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KirsteyJames
KirsteyJames
Original Poster
1 year ago

πŸ™‚ some people do wear some crazy things but i just feel like at a wedding all the women will be in a dress, the men will be in suits or a shirt & then there will be me 🀣i will see if i can find a black shirt type of top that looks smart and i feel comfortable in. Thanks Johnny πŸ‘πŸ»

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Tasha042
Tasha0421 year ago

I would say just wear what you're comfortable in. They want you therefor your company so they should accept you as you are. I get very irritated by clothes too, especially anything that touches my neck. Would you take a smart jacket just to wear for photos and just hang it on the chair the rest of the time?

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Pjran
Pjran1 year ago

As long as you’re clean and wearing a smile you’re acceptable. It’s the bride and grooms day and all the guests will focus on them. Enjoy the day and be a proud husband with your wife being bridesmaid.

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KirsteyJames
KirsteyJames
Original Poster
1 year ago

If i was a husband i deffo wouldnt be wearing a dress 🀣 I probably should if mentioned im female but i thought the part about me not feeling comfortable in a dress or mens clothes gave it away πŸ™Š Thanks for the advice tho πŸ™‚

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig1 year ago

When I got married I told people as long as they didn't show up in a wedding dress they could wear what they wanted! People focus on the bride and groom and the bridesmaids so honestly don't worry it. Wear your checked trousers, vans and a plain shirt.

One of my best mates was always a jeans and top kind of girl but wore a dress to my wedding. She picked one that made her feel comfortable but I was just glad she had travelled over from Belfast for my big day.

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KirsteyJames
KirsteyJames
Original Poster
1 year ago

MrsCraig thank you. The last wedding i went to was my cousins 2 years ago and i wore a dress but i hated it. I avoid going to things like this and on nights out because of this outift dilemna. Im not keen on social situations anyway but this is a massive factor. Over the last few years i feel like ive changed as a person and im strong enough to say no when i feel uncomfortable or dont want to wear something, which is why ive refused to wear a dress. Its just not me and im not making myself do something to fit in. Perhaps il have a few drinks before i go, i will be ok then 🀣

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig1 year ago

KirsteyJames totally agree! You shouldn't wear something you don't feel comfortable in! As long as you look presentable you will be fine. Wear what you want and you will enjoy the day much more as you will be comfortable and feel like yourself!

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sunny101
sunny1011 year ago

KirsteyJames Your post made me sad not because you couldn't decide on an outfit but because you were worrying about it so much. You've had good advice on this thread - wear something you feel comfortable in. The people who count AKA the wedding couple will be pleased that you attended so try not to overthink your choice of clothing. Enjoy the day and refuse to conform....... we will all want an update post wedding 🀣

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KirsteyJames
KirsteyJames
Original Poster
1 year ago

Ive been worrying about it since she booked in January πŸ™ˆ One of my best friends was meant to be getting married last week but her fiance left her in November. I was relieved when she told me because id been worrying about what i was going to wear there, how sad is that 🀣At least i had a few months worry free before this one was booked. I get obsessions with clothes and what i wear and although it sounds silly their a part of my coping mechanisms when im out in public, so changing them is a massive deal to me. Apparently this is a common thing for people with aspergers πŸ™Š Why i cant just be normal i dont know πŸ™ˆ

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sunny101
sunny1011 year ago

KirsteyJames I worked with a Semantic Pragmatic child for 5 years so I know just how this is affecting your life and the secret relief you felt recently. Unless you are going in full clown outfit with huge flat shoes and a bright orange wig let me assure you - nobody will give you a second look. Don't veer too far away from your normal wear, maybe just a very small nod to one new thing that you can cope with. I repeat that we will all want an update after the day.

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KirsteyJames
KirsteyJames
Original Poster
1 year ago

angemski thank you. I will give you all an update πŸ™‚ maybe a photo (i hate them but im sure my wife will force me into a couple πŸ˜‚). Providing i actually make it πŸ™Š I spent half of my wedding day in bed because i was ill (now i know it was just a meltdown). No i will go, i may have a breakdown before but i will get there 🀣🀞🏻

Thank you everyone for help. Its hard to talk to people i know about this stuff because i havent told anyone apart from my family and close friend about this aspergers thing yet so everyone else would just think im strange 🀣

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KirsteyJames
KirsteyJames
Original Poster
12 months ago

So the wedding was yesterday. I did manage to get there (did have a few drinks beforehand 🀣) and it was a lovely day. I am feeling rough today mind, my wifes in bed because she is so hungover πŸ™Š I look well awkward in the photo because i hate them but i told you my wife would make me have them anyway πŸ™ˆ Me & my Wife! Image

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sunny101
sunny10112 months ago

Well done, you! You both look great - I've been waiting for this update and I'm hoping you enjoyed the day. Yeah! I know you had a bit of the Dutch but did you honestly feel awkward with your final choice? It certainly doesn't look it here. (clothing choice spot on)

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KirsteyJames
KirsteyJames
Original Poster
12 months ago

angemski nope i was comfortable in what i was wearing πŸ™‚ i could of worn a dress to fit in but i would of felt awful. This was much more me πŸ’ͺ🏻 I had to have a drink to go because of the social aspect of it all, plus i had to go on my own because my wife was bridesmaid so she had stayed there the night before and i didnt see her until after the ceremony. She had her friends to wait for me though and they were all great with me to be fair.

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sunny101
sunny10112 months ago

KirsteyJames I am really pleased to hear this - you did it! I'm also guessing you're not too good with compliments either but I'm going to say it. An attractive couple. Keep up with the pain relief. πŸ˜‚

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G0501
G050112 months ago

You guys look great! Was waiting for an update on this wedding as well! Love your outfit and you don't look awkward to me... Beautiful couple πŸ‘Œso happy you had a great time!

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KirsteyJames
KirsteyJames
Original Poster
12 months ago

gaelle0501 thank you πŸ™‚ if you knew me in real life you would be able to tell that i look awkward 🀣 im not very good at fake smiling or knowing how to stand πŸ™ˆ

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G0501
G050112 months ago

KirsteyJames neither am I.. I had to do a speech at my sister's wedding and everyone thought I sounded very English (I'm French) My English husband said i sounded drunk ( i timed my wine to the speech🀣, that's all you can do really! )

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