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My Best Friend Can't Stay Awake When Watching Films - Any Advice?

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I have a best friend of 35 years and for many years now we have had a weekly routine of her coming to dinner on Saturday night, and to watch a film/TV.

For as long as I can remember she has fallen asleep after dinner during our viewing and I am left sitting alone watching something we have both chosen to watch.

Last week she fell asleep at 8.10 and woke at 9.50 when I said she should get home to bed.

Sometimes I don't know whether to laugh or cry, what would you do? She is dozing as I write this!

Lynibis
a month ago
What do you think of this?
eyeballkerry
eyeballkerrya month ago

I get tired after dinner and sitting down watching a film would make me fall asleep. How about going for a walk after dinner, this usually wakes me up.

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
a month ago

I can't imagine either of us wanting to walk round here, it's a concrete jungle. It was always meant to be a meal and a film but she even nods off mid chat!

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Ann1984
Ann1984a month ago

Aw sounds like she comfortable after food with us all been inactive for over a year I feel same after eating. Maybe with nicer weather sit outside with food so fresh air

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
a month ago

We have both been working and this has been going on for about 5 or 6 years. Trouble is, she is one of those people who doesn't go to bed until 1 or 2 in the morning and hence falls asleep during the evening and then can't sleep when she goes to bed. I have nagged her about getting into a better sleep routine for years but to no avail. But we are good mates and like all relationships, you have to take the good with the bad lol.

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Ann1984
Ann1984a month ago

Lynibis aw yeah going to bed late won’t help am same fall asleep mid afternoon because up till gone 1

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gerrykelly25
gerrykelly25a month ago

She could possibly have type two diabetes and be hyperglycaemic after the meal? This was one of the first symptoms my husband displayed before being diagnosed. Maybe encourage her to get a blood test?

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
a month ago

gerrykelly25 her daughter died many years ago of diabetes so she is very on the ball with that and has regular checks with her doctor for health issues. I guess if I was up until the early hours and up for work around 6 to 7 I would be tired by early evening but she just seems happy to remain in this bad pattern of sleep.

Sometimes I am directly facing talking to her and her eyes are rolling and closing where she just can't stay awake, then I find my voice volume going up in an effort to engage but in the end I just give up and leave her to it!

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Golfforall
Golfforalla month ago

I think you should take it as a compliment . I know I find after a good meal these days I tend to feel cosy and comfortable (and hence sleepy ) . In the old days it was fuel for the fire and ready for the next leg of the evening . 😮. Not these days ,sadly 😪.

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
a month ago

I find it hard to feel complimented because it is every single time not just occasionally. I work all day Saturday, come home and cook a proper meal, roast, curry etc salmon this evening with new potatoes, corn on cob, veg, then a desert and as soon as we settle down to view she's nodding off! The idea is company for two singletons at weekend but I feel I may as well watch a film alone.

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beccatavender
beccatavendera month ago

Instead of watching a movie, why don't you chat or play a card/board game. Also do you have a glass of wine with your meal, maybe change to not drinking.The walk idea sees good as well.I think after eating and just watching telly makes it easy to fall asleep.

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
a month ago

The trouble is she arrives between 4.30 and 5.30 and we chat and catch up until about 7.30 when we then eat. I make strong coffee on arrival and neither of us drinks alcohol. We settle down to watch about 8pm and within 10 minutes she is away. As I said above, her sleep pattern is really bad because like me she lives alone so dozes each evening but then can't sleep so is awake on kindle or watching tv until 2am. Therefore it is a bad circle as she is tired again by early evening.

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beccatavender
beccatavendera month ago

In that case, can you change it and she comes for lunch/brunch you spend the day together and she goes home early evening, I know it's difficult if your sleeping pattern is disrupted Lynibis

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beccatavender
beccatavendera month ago

Lynibis Sorry I have just read the email thread properly and just realised you work all day on Saturday.

No wonder you are fed up, coming home and cooking all that work.

Unless you really enjoy cooking how about a take away or a meal deal, so it's not so much work also you could take in turns to pay!

If you like crafts can you do a joint project

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
a month ago

beccatavender I certainly don't mind cooking, especially when it is for someone other than just myself. She quite likes crafts but I am not too good though happy to learn if she wants to help me, that could certainly be a way forward. I know that, like me, she likes a good jigsaw!

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davey184
davey184a month ago

Can I come around for dinner and then watch tv. I am an insominiac. 😂

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jwhitaker537
jwhitaker537a month ago

Has she had her thyroid checked?

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
a month ago

I believe so. I am the one with an underactive thyroid but I manage to stay awake and never doze before bedtime. I sleep from midnight to getting up at 7.30. Tbh I don't think she will ever get into a good sleep pattern now.

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Grannyclock
Grannyclocka month ago

Sounds just like my husband. Apparently he has done it all his life, but I do worry sometimes.

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
a month ago

We are going on holiday to Scotland together in September so I just hope she can keep awake during the evening entertainment after a day of cruising Loch Ness and going on the Jacobite railway etc. !!! Image

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Mango4
Mango4a month ago

Just a thought ay not be practical for you thou, but wouldn't you be better off , having lunch with your friend and maybe watching a film or doing something in the afternoon.

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
a month ago

That is a good idea but our job (we work for same company) involves 6 day week working and although we don't always work 6 days we can get an extra job thrown in with just an hour's notice sometimes. We do not work together and have different rota.

I have told her about an older folks club nearby where they do exercise, craft, talks, bridge etc during the day and as we both have time off next week we are going to try that.

However, I think she will still expect our weekend visit to continue and as she is with me for up to 7ish hours I am committed to laying on some sort of meal. I think that is probably what rankles, she eats then sleeps and I am left feeling alone watching TV like I am every other night of the week after going to a lot of trouble.

PS In case anyone is wondering, I don't go to hers for the evening because a) I can't remember the last time she cooked me a meal and b) she has two large sharpei dogs which frighten the life out of me!

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davidstockport
davidstockporta month ago

Lynibis I might be completely wrong but some things you've said suggest it MIGHT be some form of narcolepsy - then again it might be perfectly natural for her to fall asleep after eating. The energy being used to digest food can make it difficult to remain awake,

Do any things in this "ring a bell"? : https://www.sleepfoundation.org/narcolepsy/symptoms

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
a month ago

davidstockport That was a bit too involved for me but I can't be sure that it would be anything more than her dreadful sleep pattern. I know many people who just seem unwilling to go to bed until the early hours despite having to get up relatively early for work. You cannot permanently exist on just 4/5 hours sleep per night so I guess it is inevitable that you will nod off when relaxed during the day. Drivers she has worked with complain that she nods off while on boring repetitive runs, and of course sitting on my comfy sofa would do it.

I think you can never get over tragic bereavement and I think that is why she stays up so late, so she can immediately fall asleep when she goes to bed but it has caused her to have really bad sleep habits. I wouldn't be surprised if she is on medication for although we are besties she is quite private about things like that. She also says she has fibromyalgia but I don't seem to notice her being in the sort of pain that complaint generates.

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davidstockport
davidstockporta month ago

Lynibis I was almost going to suggest it might be myalgic encephalomyelitis. (ME) also called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS).

When you mentioned Fibromyalgia, I remembered that there was a VERY STRONG link between ME/CFS and fybromyalgia.

This will explain: https://www.everydayhealth.com/fibromyalgia/fibromyalgia-and-chronic-fatigue-syndrome.aspx

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
a month ago

davidstockport Interesting, especially about a shock to system being a trigger.

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davidstockport
davidstockporta month ago

Lynibis ME/CFS is very difficult for doctors to diagnose (there isn't a test for it), there are still some who don't think it exists, It might seem a strange question to ask but is the involuntary sleep your friend goes into a restful one or does she awake from it as if it has been what can perhaps be described as a "painful sleep" sometimes biting tongue?

I do recall that very often those suffering ME are often people who have had to carry on working when they've had a slight virus, there was one hospital where the patients made a full recovery but the staff developed ME. I suspect there'll be many NHS staff who might be succumbing to it very soon. (hope I'm wrong).

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
a month ago

davidstockport no nothing like that. Just dozing and head flopped forward which must be uncomfortable. She will stir awake and a few moments later I will speak, no answer, look round and she's gone again.

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davidstockport
davidstockporta month ago

Lynibis That's what I tried to say - in other words; the discomfort probably awakes her and soon after she's adjusted to relieve the discomfort, she's off back to sleep.

Often these problems are not one single cause but a combination of things.

It's my opinion that this type of thing can be helped by having two sleeps per 24 hours, perhaps four or five hours at night then an afternoon nap of two or three hours. Sleep can not be stored up.

I've just (since writing above) Googled "Would a siesta help CFS" it looks as if it might: "For many people with CFS, it can help if they sleep in and nap during the day. This helps them to control their feelings of exhaustion and get back some of their energy".

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
a month ago

davidstockport The nature of our job makes that impossible, we do school runs morning and mid afternoon and other contact work in between. But I am sure she dozes in between.

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davewalsh126
davewalsh126a month ago

Developing narcolepsy?

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
a month ago

Who knows, she seems ok when keeping busy, it is only when she stops. See above.

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lilyflower
lilyflowera month ago

Lynibis my ex was like that, had his tea then settled to watch the news and never saw it and that was him until 'bed time'. In the end we all left him on the sofa, I'd go to bed and son would come home from work about 11pm, make himself something to eat, watch some TV (in the same room as his dad) let the dog out, put most lights out and go to bed. Ex would wake about 2 and go to bed and get up at 7. All the time claiming he hadn't been sleeping!

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
a month ago

I would have to do that if I lived with her! We went away a few years ago and we both went to bed around 11 and read for a while so am hoping all will be well when we are in bonny Scotland. Maybe there will be some bonny Scotsmen in kilts to stop her dozing off!

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lilyflower
lilyflowera month ago

Lynibis Hopefully the scenery and entertainment will keep her alert, you could take a walking pole to prod her if she nods off. Do you have an itinerary?

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
a month ago

lilyflower yes it is with a company called Lochs and Glens around my area and they do coach trips of varying lengths and have about 5 hotels in Scotland. You get return travel, hotel, meals, excursions and evening entertainment. Our one is £423 all in for 6 days, but of course two are taken up travelling there and back.

https://www.lochsandglens.com/holiday-search/59189/2

It has gone up slightly since booking but is now full. I can't wait.

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lilyflower
lilyflowera month ago

Lynibis You'll have a lovely time, been to all of them places, I love going over Rannoch Moor.

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beccatavender
beccatavendera month ago

You should have a great time and as she hasn't got the pressure of going to work she might have more energy 🙂@Lynibis

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Pppathome
Pppathomea month ago

Shave there eyebrows off they won't fall asleep again 🤪🤪

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Tom
Tom
Founder
a month ago

Kelsey you can relate to this!

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lilyflower
lilyflowera month ago

Tom I thought you all Image are you saying some/one of you Image

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Chelsea0121
Chelsea0121a month ago

my mum is the same, its why I wont go to the cinema with her. Why buy her a ticket to go to sleep when she can sleep through a film at home for free lol

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
a month ago

Absolutely. We used to go regularly prior to Covid and even through all the shoot ups and loud films she would fall asleep. Ok she paid for her own ticket but it was such a waste.

I haven't been for ages and have had very little use from the limitless card my granddaughter bought me for Christmas 2019. The have extended the validity twice but to be honest the films they are showing have been absolute rubbish or repeats or old films. Lots of cartoons for kids but I am a bit long in the tooth for them!

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
a month ago

PS, by the way I started to write a thank you comment for your kind post on a topic recently but it wouldn't send, I then realised the topic had been closed for some reason. I couldn't see why as there was nothing offensive or untoward in it.

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Chelsea0121
Chelsea0121a month ago

Lynibis no worries

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Pjran
Pjrana month ago

Unfortunately you can’t change someones sleep pattern. I can’t even change my own! A friend who’s terribly fit and active now in her 60s admits she nods off in the evening while watching tv, it’s an age thing.

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
a month ago

Yes it is harder to change sleep patterns when old but I am in my late 60s (my friend is 6 months older) and I never doze during the day or evening. My body clock is set at sleep from midnight until 7.30am.

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Pjran
Pjrana month ago

Lynibis you’re very lucky to have uninterrupted sleep for 7:30 hours, wish I could.

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Lynibis
Lynibis
Original Poster
a month ago

Pjran As you get older it is hard to stay still for too long so I do come slightly awake a couple of times to shift my body, but I am straight back to sleep. Also I have trained myself not to need the loo during the night. I know many younger people who get up once or twice during the night and that disturbs sleep.

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SarahHorsfield
SarahHorsfielda month ago

Laugh

Why would you wanna change a creature of habit 😂

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