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Had a de-clutter and moved to a 'house' but things are just the same, a smile a day πŸ™‚

lilyflower
3 months ago
What do you think of this?
MartinJarvis
MartinJarvis3 months ago

Two dog owners are arguing about whose pet is smarter. β€œMy dog is so smart,” says the first owner, β€œthat every morning he goes to the store and buys me a sesame seed bagel with chive cream cheese, stops off at Starbucks and picks me up a mocha latte, and then comes home and turns on ESPN, all before I get out of bed.” β€œI know,” says the second owner. β€œHow do you know?” the first demands. β€œMy dog told me.”

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
3 months ago

Morning everyone, it's raining 😞 Random fact - my Uncle is 83 today. Smile of the day πŸ™‚ Enjoy

At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto they have weekly husbands’ marriage seminars. At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.

Giuseppe addressed the assembled husbands, "Wella, I'va tried to treat her nice, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!"

The priest responded, "Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?"

Giuseppe proudly replied, " I gonna go pick her up."

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Username65022
Username650223 months ago

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Loislane
Loislane3 months ago

Evening you lovely lot hope all well πŸ’–hugs from the east stay safe stay well xx

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Username65022
Username650223 months ago

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
3 months ago

Morning Sanitation1234 TheChimp Loislane Lynibis MrsCraig JoTarpley and all the others who occasionally join us, it's a dull day in the NE. Random facts: It's Bastille Day and I've booked a holiday. Smile of the day πŸ™‚

The department head is a wise, friendly old man, and one day, during an interview in his office he was asked,

"Sir, What is the secret of your success?"

He said, "Two words."

"And, Sir, what are they?"

"Right decisions."

"But how do you make right decisions?"

"One word." He responded.

"And, sir, What is that?"

"Experience."

"And how do you get Experience?"

"Two words."

"And, Sir, what are they?"

"Wrong decisions."

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Lynibis
Lynibis3 months ago

That's a very good example of 'many a true word is spoken in jest'.

It is only in the last few years I feel I have gained the wisdom to live at peace with myself and others and maybe offer a little advice now and then. Sadly I have reached an age where no one wants to listen to what older folk have to say!

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Username65022
Username650223 months ago

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Lynibis
Lynibis3 months ago

Sanitation1234 so sorry to hear this. I hope you can return with good news very soon x

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig3 months ago

Sanitation1234 I am very sorry to hear this! He will be in my prayers, as will you during this tough time. Take care of yourself x

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Username65022
Username650223 months ago

MrsCraig Thanks

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
3 months ago

Sanitation1234 Sorry to hear about your brother, Image

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JoTarpley
JoTarpley3 months ago
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JoTarpley
JoTarpley3 months ago

Very good and very apt lilyflower , hope you are well today!

Dry here but not very warm, I wonder what tomorrow will bring πŸ€” it's very unpredictable but I think I heard more rain is forecast.......x

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Username65022
Username650223 months ago

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TheChimp
TheChimp3 months ago

Morning lilyflower and everyone.

Please excuse my absence yesterday.

Weather isn't too bad here atm.

And it's KFC chicken Tuesday πŸ˜‹

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig3 months ago

Morning everyone. It is rather sunny here today but not that warm.

No big plans for the day, apart from cleaning the house and playing in the garden.

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Loislane
Loislane3 months ago

Afternoon you gorgeous lovely people πŸ’–πŸ’–

I'm not up to much today except usual housework etc how exciting lol x

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TheChimp
TheChimp3 months ago

Hello Sanitation1234 MrsCraig Loislane

My KFC was a bit scabby tbh, but still wasn't too bad.

I had a chat with my financial advisor today and he said due to uncertain times, I should invest in bonds.

So I've just bought 200 copies of Goldfinger on Blu-ray

😐

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig3 months ago

Love a KFC! We had a takeaway for dinner, a curry, it is the best curry we have ever had and we only have it occasionally as a treat.

Brilliant joke.

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Loislane
Loislane3 months ago

Haha love this lol x πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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Username65022
Username650223 months ago

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TheChimp
TheChimp3 months ago

Sanitation1234 Hope everything sorts its self out πŸ‘Œ

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JoTarpley
JoTarpley3 months ago

Image

Take care Sanitation1234 sending virtual (((HUGS))) and love to you all xx

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig3 months ago

I hope your brother recovers from his operation soon and gets back home x

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
3 months ago

Morning all from a damp and cool NE. Random facts - Today is National give something away day! and St Swithins Day - rain for the next 40 days then. Have a smile πŸ™‚

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.

The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"

The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."

"Wow!" said the seaman, "what about your hook"?

"Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords - and one of them cut my hand off."

"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"?

"A seagull flew overhead and pooped into my eye," replied the pirate. "You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.

"Yes," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"

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TheChimp
TheChimp3 months ago

lilyflower Nice gag, I like that one πŸ‘Œ

Good morning to everyone.

Wife has got half day today, so she'll be back for lunch. I will be baking some part-baked baguettes and filling them with brie and cranberry while they're still warm πŸ˜‹

A fry-up has been requested for our evening meal.

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
3 months ago

TheChimp That is not fair, making me hungry before 11am. Image

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TheChimp
TheChimp3 months ago

lilyflower Have yourself a nice cup of tea and a couple of biccies πŸ˜‰

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig3 months ago

Another excellent one lilyflower. Today my son got two ride on toys, so we have been in the garden with those.

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
3 months ago

MrsCraig Can you edit it back? Was there a need for lots of little examples? I had a competition title changed - yet to see why.

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig3 months ago

.

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig3 months ago

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Username65022
Username650223 months ago

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emmabeckz
emmabeckz
LD Team
3 months ago

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We do this with lots of peoples posts too - see these examples below - it's just that you haven't had it done to one of your's before.

Tonight's broadcast and deals round up >> https://www.latestdeals.co.uk/broadcasts/5f0f1c6d6c0b860e29882865

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https://www.latestdeals.co.uk/deals/absolut-vanilia-flavoured-vodka-70-cl-16-amazon

I hope this clears things up for you anyway Thanks Emma

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TheChimp
TheChimp3 months ago

Morning lilyflower and everyone.

Just having a Costa cappuccino and watching the magpies winding up a crow on the trees at the back of the house.

I have been ORDERED to make the broccoli and stilton soup this morning so that the wife can have it for lunch with a warm crusty roll.

Gonna make a simple tuna pasta bake for evening meal.

Hope you are all well and have a good day πŸ˜‰

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig3 months ago

Haven't been to Costa in about a year! Our local coop has a Costa machine but I've never used it. Lunch and dinner both sound delicious. We are just about to head out for a walk as my son has just crawled into his pram!

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TheChimp
TheChimp3 months ago

MrsCraig Nor have I!

I've got one of them Tassimo machines, so it's just a matter of putting a couple of pods in.

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig3 months ago

TheChimp oh that sounds good! My mum has got one and it is brilliant! We don't drink enough coffee to justify having one.

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
3 months ago

Morning all. Home made fish and chips for tea TheChimp and homemade cappuccino, (Columbian pod with frothed milk poured on top). Smile of the day πŸ™‚

It was a cold winter day, when an old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line and began waiting for a fish to bite.

He was there for almost an hour without even a nibble when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice not too far from the old man and dropped in his fishing line.

It only took about a minute and WHAM! a trout hit his hook and the boy pulled in the fish.

The old man couldn't believe it but figured it was just luck. But, the boy dropped in his line and again within just a few minutes pulled in another one.

This went on and on until finally the old man couldn't take it any more since he hadn't caught a thing all this time.

He went to the boy and said, "Son, I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You have been here only a few minutes and have caught about half a dozen fish! How do you do it?"

The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm."

"What was that?" the old man asked.

Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm."

"Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you are saying."

So, the boy spat into his hand and said .........

"You have to keep the worms warm!"

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Username65022
Username650223 months ago

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Username65022
Username650223 months ago

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
3 months ago

Hello Sanitation1234 How are you today and how is your brother, improving I hope. Wise words, rude people aren't worth the effort. πŸ™‚

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Username65022
Username650223 months ago

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lilyflower
lilyflower
Original Poster
3 months ago

Sanitation1234 Ignore them. Your English is good, much better than if I or they tried to speak in your native tongue. 🌹

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Username65022
Username650223 months ago

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TheChimp
TheChimp3 months ago

Good morning lilyflower Sanitation1234 MrsCraig JoTarpley Loislane Lynibis and everyone else.

It's an overcast day here in SW Wales.

Just made the wife a cup of coffee and fed the dog.

I'm doing roast turkey today with stuffing, pigs in blankets, carrots, peas, green beans, baby potatoes, cranberry sauce and some gravy. Hopefully it will keep the missus happy.

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Lynibis
Lynibis3 months ago

Oooh that sounds a lovely feast. Is it a special occasion? I shall be finishing off the salad left in the fridge before the bbe dates!

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TheChimp
TheChimp3 months ago

Lynibis Na, we try to have a decent meal at least once a week and it's turkey today.

I've never been fussed with salad tbh. The wife will have one every so often.

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig3 months ago

Oh that sounds delicious! My husband is after a KFC as he saw that they were reducing prices due to the VAT reduction.

It is overcast here too, been out for our walk this morning and now playing in the garden.

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