Feeling Miffed with a Relative

SebK84 this is the problem. I was not told whereabouts, which hotel, which airport, what date etc it was just booked yesterday and I was told last night that I owed £200 for my deposit, on a holiday I had not confirmed I wished to go on. The deposit is non refundable.

As I said above surely you should call or text just to say 'I am booking the holiday tomorrow is that ok?'

I do wonder about the deposit as I think it is wrong that it is non refundable if you cancel within 24 hours. Especially as the holiday is 14 months away.

SebK84 I think you may have misunderstood. This is nothing to do with the wedding but it is why I was invited and it was suggested my sis and I go together and pay for our holiday which is fine. Had I decided to go I would of course pay my own way. But to go ahead and book for someone else, in effect spending their money for them without asking if it's ok first is out of order. So I now have to pay the deposit for my holiday that I am not going on.

Lynibis yes. Sorry I did. I thought it was related to the wedding.

Tell them that they should have asked if you still want to go before booking and as you don't want, they should get their money back.

SebK84 I have already been told it's non refundable but she paid on my behalf without asking me so now says I owe her.

Lynibis tell them to j.. on. Don't pay, but it may affect your relations with them

I never heard of holiday you book in advance and cannot get deposit back

Yes this could be the one and only bust up we've had in 50 years but she seems to forget I gave her 1k several years ago but she has more than 4x my income and spends money like water.

jms19 thank you, from my point of view I wouldn't dream of booking a holiday on behalf of someone else without just mentioning ' btw I am off to book that holiday we spoke of tomorrow, is that ok?'

tumblespots thanks MrsT. I guess I needed to know if I was out of order as I did say last year I would go, tentatively, but when she said my other solo sis would be going it let me off the hook so to speak. I hadn't dreamt for a minute she would just book for the 3 of us without even running it by me.

And who would get the sofa bed! Can you imagine 3 women trying to get ready for a wedding in a room with one bathroom not to mention all the other mornings.

Lynibis It was reckless of her as you can't leave it such a long time and expect people to be held to a decision made so long ago without double checking, especially when costs are involved.

JLouM She will still be going with 3rd sister. We had nearly 2 years notice for the wedding but it hurts that my opinion on venue etc wasn't asked, she just did it. She's always been a bit 'I'm in charge' but it's never bothered me before as it's easier to let her do as she pleases.

Lynibis Maybe that’s why then. Perhaps you should tell her how you feel about it.

nina090976 I googled refunds but legally they don't have to. Hopefully 4th sister could step in but if not this will cause problems. I truly would pay up if she had asked first and then I changed my mind.

Lynibis yes, a bit tricky. I guess things can still change up until december, if the holiday is not too costly you may want to tag along afterall, in the meantime I would just pay her monthly and if anyone is happy to take your spot they could pay you back. Just a thought, hope you get it sorted x

nina090976 thank you.

MrsCraig thank you. I just wanted to be sure of being right to hold it back. As she is my sister and I love her I will suggest going halves. Hopefully that will avoid any ill feeling.

Lynibis I think that most people would agree that you need to ask someone first before you book something, unless it is a surprise present of course. I'm not sure I would even go halves, especially if you aren't planning to go.

Leannexxx tbh Leanne, I think she realised I was getting cold feet so got it booked. I am trying not to make a mountain out of a mole hill but just a quick call to let me know she was about to book so I could have told her I changed my mind.

martinlufc5637 I replied earlier but when I scrolled back it had disappeared, maybe I forgot to click reply lol. But yes the heat is also a factor for me. I was once at a wedding in Cyprus and the temp was 40+ it made me feel really ill and I couldn't enjoy the wedding.

Lynibis I struggle with 30 degree heat lol there was no way I was going when it was 60 + degrees, plus we have young children, I wasn't exposing them to that heat, it was an idea they had and Then took it upon themselves to book, I'm not responsible for that, if they had come to us and asked if we were definitely going, we'd have said no

Pjran re your first sentence, I agree and think that often the couple may do this knowing many folk won't be able to attend and therefore the actual wedding, (food drink etc) won't cost them as much. Plus they have the added bonus of rolling the wedding and honeymoon into one.

I must admit my oldest son got married abroad but he was very generous helping out with the cost for the small guest list.

Lynibis the parents paid and the next day the couple had their honeymoon elsewhere. The couple planned it all regardless of cost!

kitty88uk ah bless you, didn't mean to upset you on my behalf. I am a lot older than my siblings (dad remarried hence step mum) 10 years between me and the oldest one. But we were always close as I was like her second mum. However, by the time she was 7 I had joined the Navy and was therefore not as close to the next 3.

I don't want to cut ties but I have become disillusioned with her change of character over the years, very bossy and controlling, but as it is now become harder for me to visit (3 hour journey) I guess we won't be seeing much of each other anyway so I guess I won't be any worse off.

Lynibis sorry I got angry lol ah it’s awful having a sh*t person controlling, how the hell now discuss what they were going to do! Making you pay for something you did not consent to doing so or confirm you were going ridiculous

Hate family members, had an aunt years ago kept calling asking to borrow money for her son buy house then one day said it’s fine pfft!! Now he makes money renting houses and ever since never damn called my mum to have a chat or anything goes to show they only call you for money matters that’s it

kitty88uk yes I must admit I seem to do all the giving with my lot. I was a bit disappointed when I didn't even get a card from any of 4 siblings or their kids for my 70th. I always remember them, even a text would have made me smile.

HEDGEHOGS Yes, I must admit that I spent yesterday in a state of high tension over all this. I am not poverty stricken but I cannot afford to just throw away £200.

Lynibis I totally understand how your feeling as I would be livid and £200 is a lot of money to spend through not having a choice of your own. I think if it was me I would speak to her and if it was to lose a friendship then so be it.

HEDGEHOGS Thanks, I can't bear the thought of losing a sister over money but if she is adamant I will do as I mentioned in a previous comment and offer to go halves.

telmel that is a good idea but until this situation this sister and I have always been very close.We have lengthy calls and visit when possible and this is what makes me loath to upset the apple cart. We chat about medical issues a lot and tbh I don't think she would fall for it.

Lynibis Ah, i understand L , still, a shame she didnt consult you first , it was probably just a misunderstanding in this case though

suevernon1968 I must admit I don't know all the one and outs. In the interest of total honesty I indicated I would go when I was told about it almost 2years prior to event but with the thought that anything can happen during that time. She then told me she had invited a third sister but made no mention of when she would book. I felt it was a good way to decline as she would still have a travel companion but b4 I could tell her she had booked.

I suppose she was rightly upset but in an abrupt text said she was asking 4th sister to take my place so only admin fee to pay. That was several days ago so don't know if it's yes/no as of now.

Lynibis anyone travelling abroad these days tends to take out travel insurance. No one knows what may happen between now and then- she hasn’t really given you chance to take out insurance. As it was made as a group booking i presume insurance would have been offered at the same time. What gives her the right to make that choice for you ?

I would stick to your guns. Why did the other sister not get included on the same booking as the rest of you x

suevernon1968 originally just us two, then the next sis stayed with her for a week and she invited her too (not sure if she ok'd it with son and his bride, doubt it) which I also did not get consulted about. I hate sharing a room but with 3 even worse.

The first thing I thought of was travel insurance as Martin Lewis is very hot about this. But as you say, I had no chance.