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Grieving Parents to Get Two Weeks of Leave under New Law

In the News

Working parents who lose a child under the age of 18 will get two weeks’ statutory leave under “Jack’s Law”.

https://www.moneywise.co.uk/news/2020-01-23/grieving-parents-get-two-weeks-leave-under-new-law?utm_source=IBMW&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Moneywise%20newsletter%2024-01-2020%20(Fri)%20(1)%20remainder&utm_content=

In my opinion this is long overdue....

tumblespots
1 month ago
What do you think of this?
Lynibis
Lynibis1 month ago

I agree. It must be the worse thing in the world to lose a child, it happened to my best friend and I know folk on here have suffered the loss too. I remember having to go to work the day after each of my parents died and that was bad enough, especially as I was registering deaths all day long. My rant about councils on another post extends to this also, I despise their lack of empathy and understanding, hiding behind a faceless organisation.

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tumblespots
tumblespots
Original Poster
1 month ago

You can’t describe how bad these parents feel, it is completely devastating and has happened to friends of mine. When they are still so distressed after 10 or 20 years two weeks is nothing by way of grieving time but better than the 3 days they were given in the past.

Like you Mr Tumblespots had to return to work before his parents funerals because the funerals were 3 weeks after their deaths. (does that make sense?) Councils just don’t care and as you say there are faceless, nameless and completely unaccountable, just like politicians. 🐞

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davidstockport
davidstockport1 month ago

I'm all for it but can't understand why the two weeks can be taken at any time during the following year, that seems to be like adding it to any holiday allowance.

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tumblespots
tumblespots
Original Poster
1 month ago

If it was for a shorter time period then I could relate it to not having the funeral straight away, but having said that, sometimes you think you are coming to terms with something horrendous like this but then it overwhelms you again and you just can't continue without taking time to re-collect yourself again. Grief is awful and consuming. 🐞

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davidstockport
davidstockport1 month ago

tumblespots I agree that grief is long lasting - but surely most will want the time off soon after the death, few will think "I'll save it for later" which could result in them saying "we'd better have that time off before the deadline expires" after fifty weeks.

As said I'm all for "bereavement leave" but not in making it so clinical.

If the grief is overwhelming after 50 weeks, surely that should be dealt with by UNLIMITED sickness leave, not by bereavement leave which can be taken at any time.

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tumblespots
tumblespots
Original Poster
1 month ago

davidstockport True, a year does seem a little long and as you say sick leave could cover it if it rears it's head again later on. 🐞

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Janhrrs
Janhrrs1 month ago

I think it is a good idea long overdue. I would like it extended to include children of any age. My mother lost my brother at 26 and the loss is no less painful. She wasn't able to return to work.

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tumblespots
tumblespots
Original Poster
1 month ago

I agree with you, I know some people, just like you, who have lost children in their 20's & 30's and as you say it is never easy losing a life so full of promise whatever their age. Nothing can erase the sense of loss, and acceptance of the loss can be equally difficult. Losing a sibling must be very challenging too and you don't usually get much leave for that either. It's a cruel world. 💐 🐞

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davidstockport
davidstockport1 month ago

There has to be some age limit otherwise the full system would become unworkable, it isn't only close family who grieve. This isn't meant to sound callous or uncaring but very often it can be useful for the bereaved to return to work.

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Janhrrs
Janhrrs1 month ago

davidstockport I can understand your viewpoint totally and don't think it's uncaring. But it is difficult some people cope better at work and some like me can't. I work for a company who decide how much compassionate leave they will let people have which I think is totally wrong. Someone lost a parent last year and had 3 weeks off. My dad was inconsiderate enough to die just before Christmas last year and I had already been told I couldn't have leave over Christmas. When he died I took 3 days, when I went back they allowed me 1 and made me take 2 as holiday. The worse Xmas of my life but they obviously weren't happy that I hadn't gone in.

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davidstockport
davidstockport1 month ago

Janhrrs I understand - I was self employed in entertainment when my wife died (very suddenly) and facing an audience was the last thing I wanted to do for a few months. But then just over 15 years later my fiancée died (after a long illness) getting back to work (still self employed but not in entertainment) helped.

So it's not necessarily the person, but the circumstances.

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Janhrrs
Janhrrs1 month ago

davidstockport very true, I hadn't thought of it from that perspective and I am so so sorry that you have had to suffer like that twice.

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig1 month ago

I agree with this wholeheartedly! My husband was off work for 9 months before our son had his operation. We faced the possibility of losing him the day he was born and then when he was 8 months old. I have no idea how devastating it must be to lose a child, I will be forever grateful that our son pulled through. I remember how hard it was handing him over, looking at him and thinking is this the last time I will see him alive? That alone broke my heart, so god knows how much suffering they are going through!

I can't imagine how on earth you start to pur your life back together. Why has it taken so long for this to be introduced!

A friend of my mother in law lost her son last year and she took 6 months sick leave to give herself time to grieve. She said it still wasn't enough time. I don't imagine it would ever be enough time.

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tumblespots
tumblespots
Original Poster
1 month ago

I think the amount of time you need is very personal to whoever it is as well as the myriad of other circumstances in their lives at the time. It is a shame that the 'powers that be' insist on putting us all in little boxes that dictate how long anyone should grieve and then make you feel abnormal when that time span doesn't suit. We are all individuals! 🐞

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig1 month ago

tumblespots totally agree. Everyone is different and moves forward at different times.

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Pjran
Pjran1 month ago

It must be devastating coping with the death of a child and then supporting your partner. Everyone deals with grief differently some seem hard almost uncaring or like me cry at everything and breaking down. Yes there should be an allowance for time off work as not everyone works for a caring company with sick pay.

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davidstockport
davidstockport1 month ago

Those who appear almost uncaring are often just "bottling it up" to try to support those who appear really upset, it's those who simply can't grieve who are most severely affected long term. My sister's son died and then her husband, who didn't appear too upset, died 99 days later.

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Pjran
Pjran1 month ago

davidstockport oh dear my heartfelt condolences for your family. Coping with one death is bad enough but two so close is just dreadful. I’m really not good talking about death, I was widowed in my 20s and it’s something even now I can’t openly talk about. Just replying to this message I’m in tears.

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sarahgreen15
sarahgreen151 month ago

I can’t believe this wasn’t already a thing.... an older woman (in her mid 50s) at my work lost her mum (nearly 90) and was given 2 weeks off full pay... I don’t think 2 weeks for the death of a child is enough!

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tumblespots
tumblespots
Original Poster
1 month ago

I'm not sure that two weeks is enough for anyone to grieve. 🐞

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davidstockport
davidstockport1 month ago

tumblespots Grief doesn't end after two weeks - but: And I hate this phrase "Life goes on" and if everyone who grieves was given sufficient leave from work to grieve, the world would grind to a halt.

Something sticks in my mind from many many years ago (before I encountered real grief) it went something like: "When someone close dies, for a time the world will stop and share your grief but after a while, the world will start again and if you don't get back on it will leave you behind".

Hope that makes sense to others.

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tumblespots
tumblespots
Original Poster
1 month ago

davidstockport Very wise words 🐞

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DannySpeed
DannySpeed1 month ago

And rightly so. How on earth anyone can say grieving parents are immune to grief is beyond me. People cannot handle grief so it should be treated very gently, giving folks all the time they need. Totally agree with this.

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ShellyAnn
ShellyAnn30 days ago

I don't know how anyone can put a length on how long you should grieve for and how long it would take to get over a parent/loved ones death. I agree with it but really its going to take as long as it takes if you ever do fully get over it.

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tumblespots
tumblespots
Original Poster
30 days ago

You have hit the nail on the head there - IF you ever get over it. 🐞

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chelseaturpin
chelseaturpin29 days ago

Only 2 weeks. Thats shocking.

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