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i get teased for never remembering the punchline to jokes anyone got any fail safe ones for me to dazzle with this christmas? 
Happy weekend everyone
Man waks into a fish n chip shop
He says f"ish n chips twice" the owner replies "I heard you the first time"
This has set me off giggling far more than it should have done. Trouble is husbands asleep next to me 
Went to the baker at end of day for their half price cakes. Why isn't that one reduced I asked, pointing, and the baker replied that's Madeira cake.
My fav (stolen) joke: Always makes me laugh.
I was walking through the cemetary early this morning when I saw a man crouched down behind a grave.
I said 'Morning!'
He replied 'no love, just taking a dump'
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