If You Are Paying Should You Have a Say ?
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My 24 son is moving out into his own flat, I am going to help him out with £ for furniture, kitchen wear etc. As I am paying I think I should have a say, he can say yes or no before I order. But that way I get the joy looking for bargins and shopping.
My son is happy with this arrangement.
But my husband says I should just give him the cash, what are your thoughts?
It is very generous to help out and pointing him in the right direction is great but the final decision should be his.
You can offer advice as well as cash. In my experience both are gratefully received but your husband is right the final decision should be his. I find items online and send screenshots suggesting this is what would come in handy.
That what I am doing, I know his taste is a lot more contemporary,than mine. I show him stuff and if he likes it he book marks in his phone.
Eg. I know he wanted a black kitchen kettle and toaster, and pans, so got him stuff from Tefal using the voucher on this site, so he has better quality stuff for the same price.
There is no way I would give cash to a 24 year old, they are likely to spend it on takeaways and 'having fun'. It should be his choice what furniture etc he has in HIS flat but you are free to make suggestions and order together with you paying without giving him the cash.
I would give him a budget and let him buy the things himself that way he learns to budget and find the bargains so it will learn him to use the money wisely
I have given him a budget and he will decide the final items, but I won't give him the £ due to him not buying things I have given £ for in the past
beccatavender just every one does things different but my son was money savvy by the age of 11 so I would have had no worries in giving him the budget at 24 he is now 26 and runs his own house but I suppose not all 24 year olds are the same good luck but he may surprise you this time and get it right. but it’s good that you are supporting him and he knows his parents care
It’s probably better he gets to make the choices himself, as he will need to get used to making big decisions in the near future. But it’s always good to have parents at hand to help whenever needed
No way when we moved out we got what was given if we didn't like we used it till we could get what we wanted I think your being very helpful that your buying the stuff so would think he would be grateful either way
Hmmm. Why not have him make choices and buy items then reimburse on receipt ? That way you know he will have what he needs but the make and design/colour of his choice. And you can offer advice for something he’s maybe overlooked or not thought of?
No , No No ! Totally his choice - How would you like it if he told you what to buy for your own home ?
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OK if he is wanting you to buy something totally overpriced stick your oar in by all means . At the end of the day be an adviser (even though you are the payer ) . Perhaps the younger generation don't always appreciate the "value" of stuff especially when someone else is paying 
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You do what you feel is best. It’s your son & your money. Be nice for him to choose some bits just work together I’m sure you will both come to some compromise. After all mums normally know best
It really depends. If he is okay with it then its great and both of you can have fun looking for/ choosing furniture
It has really been bonding experience, we keep on asking each other if we like this sofa or that, surprisingly my taste is more expensive than his
I know if it were my sons I would just let them choose as our tastes are very very different, However if your son is happy with the arrangement than I really don't see a problem, just be mindful of pushing your choices/ideas too much as he may feel pressured into your ideas/choices with you being the one paying.
You could go shopping with him then that way you know where the money has gone and you get to agree together.
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