Silly/funny Christmas Jokes
Other
5 Days only - What's your silly or funny Christmas Joke?
What do you call a scary looking reindeer?
A cari-boo.
Queenofdeals786 Great to hear from you. I've not posted for a long time but have been doing comps with no luck, there are a lot on Instagram if you need a tag buddy @ difficult lily
lilyflower Aww same here your should start posting somethingI don’t have insta in future if I download I’ll definitely join your group take care have a lovely evening honest I miss all old topics
Please don't slate me for this one lol I thought it was funny
Why doesn’t Santa have kids of his own?
He only comes once a year
I was in Aldi today and bought myself an Aldi Humpty Dumpty .
You bought an Aldi Humpty Dumpty .
Yeah tomorrow I'm going to get the Aldi Kings horses and Aldi the kings men.
What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense? Wait, there's myrrh.
What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
Have you heard about Adolph, the brown-nosed reindeer? He can run as fast as Rudolph, he just can’t stop as fast.
What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
Friends - please be careful
Yesterday I went to a Christmas party. I had a few beers, followed by a few cocktails, followed by a few shots... I still had the sense to know that I was over the limit. That's when I decided to do what I have never done before: I took a cab home. Sure enough, there was a police road block on the way home, and since it was a cab, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident. This was both a great relief and a surprise because I had never driven a cab before. I don't even know where I got it from and, now that it is in my garage, I don't know what to do with it.
WARNING ...RANT!
For those of you who are placing Christmas lights/decorations in your garden, can you please avoid anything that has Red or Blue flashing lights together? Every time I come around the corner, I think it's the police and I have a panic attack. I have to brake hard, toss my beer out the window, fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, try and find my mask, turn my radio down and compose myself, all while trying to drive. It's just too much drama, even for Christmas. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.
It's naughty joke day as it's the last day for this year.
Why was the snowman smiling? He could see the snowblower coming down the street.
Why does Santa always come through the chimney? Because he knows better than to try the back door.
How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born?
They had a weigh in a manger!
What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
Just for MartinJarvis and its past the watershed!
What do a train set and boobs have in common? They were both made for kids but dads can't help playing with them.
hat’s the difference between a Christmas tree and a man? A Christmas tree will stay up for 12 nights, has cute balls and looks good with the lights on.
Why does Santa always come through the chimney? Because he knows better than to try the back door.
That's it from this elf got work to do but I'll be back next December
Two brothers' Christmas. Mum and Dad had twin sons. One was very well-behaved with impeccable manners. The other son was a tearaway but worst of all, was his extremely bad language. He swore all the time.
It was Christmas eve and Mum and Dad decided that they would teach their badly-behaved son a lesson. So they put all the Christmas presents in the sack of the good son and filled the other's sack with horse manure.
Christmas morning, and the lads get up to check their sacks. The good lad says WOW, I've got a Play Station, model plane, radio controlled car, football, lots of chocolates. What have you got? His brother replied " I had a !!!!!!! horse but it's gone”
How did the bauble know that she was addicted to Christmas?
She’d been hooked on Christmas trees all her life
Why was the snowman embarrassed when he was spotted rummaging through a bag of carrots?
He was caught picking his nose.
The Christmas jumper my kids gave me last year kept picking up static electricity.
I took it back and exchanged it for another one – free of charge.
The only Christmas present that I got this year was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I find that very hard to deal with.
What did the third wise salesman say after his friends had already presented gold and frankincense?
But wait – there’s myrrh!
The only Christmas present that I got this year was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I find that very hard to deal with.
What is green, covered in Christmas lights and Christmas bulbs, and goes ribbit? A mistle-toad.
What do they sing to Christmas trees at their retirement parties? Fir he’s a jolly good fellow, fir he’s a jolly good fellow…
Knock, knock Who’s there? Honda. Honda who? Honda first day of Christmas my true love sent to me…
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