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Single or Partnered Up?

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Someone commented about being happily single on a comp and it got me thinking about my single status, it doesn't take much! When I am with someone I long to be free, but when I am alone I want someone to love and there seems to be no middle ground on this issue. I love watching the progs I want, eating, sleeping, reading etc when I want and not having to answer to anyone for my whereabouts, how I spend my money, what I eat, wear or look like!

However, it does get lonely and who doesn't want a significant other to feel complete, share a film, meal out, theatre, weekend break with. At my age the best scenario would seem to be a gentleman friend to enjoy lifes pleasures whilst still doing my own thing as and when I like. Is that selfish, how do you feel about it. I like my own company most of the time but many people cannot stand being alone.

lynnibis
2 months ago
What do you think of this?
Jamala
Jamala2 months ago

lynnibis - I think it must have been your thread I was reading when I posted holidays as prizes on chat. I hate to say we get set in our ways but we do - I like not having to answer for my whereabouts, eat what I want when I want etc. I often work 12-14hr days, get home and crawl straight into bed - not really conducive to a healthy relationship!

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lynnibis
lynnibis
Original Poster
2 months ago

I agree Jamala. My family often try 'you should get a dog' but I don't even want that responsibility and a dog can tie you down more than a partner! I have a friend who often complains that his dad often cancels or cuts short visits because 'he has to get back for the dog' and it makes him feel the dog is more important than he is. 🐕

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Jamala
Jamala2 months ago

lynnibis It's a difficult one - I would love another dog, but am at the stage of life if a friend rings up and says lets go away for a weekend, we can just get in the car and go - no more worries about kennels/imposing on family etc.

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Rockman
Rockman2 months ago

I've been wanting to settle down and have a girlfriend then who'd become my wife, but not really interested in a partner. There's loads of partners in the world. 😜

For the time being, I'll focus on what I need then move on to that.

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lynnibis
lynnibis
Original Poster
2 months ago

It is nice to know you are thinking of a wife rather than loads of partners, so many don't these days. I had two marriages, but the second was a rebound job as I found it hard to be alone after marrying at 17 and divorcing at 33. After the second fail I was alone for a long time but met someone later in life so marriage was not an option as it would have muddled things for our kids, glad I didn't now! Have been alone again now for 8 years and on balance it is best as when older each brings so much baggage into the relationship and there are no shared memories or family.

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig2 months ago

I am very happily married. I am still able to watch the programmes I want, I eat what I want, when I want (as does my husband) I wear what I like, don't feel the need to wear make up to impress my husband, as he loves me just as I am. We both see our friends. we have a joint account so will tell each other when we are buying something and how much it is, but that is more to keep an eye on our expenses, rather than explaining ourselves. I love having someone to talk to about everything and going out together. I think that everyone is different and should do what is best for them. I know a couple who have been together for 15 years, but have never lived together. They live their own lives during the week and then spend the weekend together, it works for them.

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lynnibis
lynnibis
Original Poster
2 months ago

Sounds like you have cracked it MrsCraig, long may it last. I was not under the thumb in either marriage and could do my own thing. But I always felt (and it is courteous to do so) that I should let hubby know where I was, what time I would be in etc to avoid worry, just as I would expect the same courtesy from him. And eating together the main meal is usual as it is a bit silly to cook twice, whoever is doing it. I must admit I hate eating a lonely meal and often can't be bothered to cook for just me, especially as I work a 6 day week. As for money that was never a problem, both had our own accounts and put equal amount into a joint to cover mortgage, bills and food etc. As you say we are all different and what works for one is not necessarily right for another.

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MrsCraig
MrsCraig2 months ago

lynnibis My husband and I will always tell each other where we are and when we will be home if we are out somewhere and we always eat dinner together and breakfast and lunch at the weekends. You just need to find what works for you. What we have works for us and everyone says we are perfect for each other and that we look happy together, but it probably wouldn't work for others!

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